The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Today I woke up feeling pretty good. The last two nights have been really rough. I start feeling nauseous and then start shaking. Hurting really bad.

Last night I had a fever which was scary. My parents helped me into bed and I just laid there shaking until I guess the pain pill kicked in and helped lower my temperature.

I’m writing this blog to show positivity and to help other women get checked. If I left out the bad stuff it wouldn’t be fair.

This is no walk in the park. It hurts. I have moments I just cry because it hurts. Or because I’m numb. I literally can’t feel my breasts. Under my arm is numb. When I scratch it I can’t feel it. All of this SUCKS. But even though I go through these feelings, I am still grateful. Grateful that my nurse found the cancer. Grateful God gave me the courage to decide on a double mastectomy.

It’s not fun. But it gets better every day.

I’m ready to get these drains out so I can take a proper shower!

Here is a really pretty picture of me this morning. You’re welcome. Hahaha!

The shiny thing on my chest is kinda like Saran Wrap only tape version.

My incisions are healing wonderfully! My doctors rock. And I’m not flat chested. They actually left me with some boobs thanks to the tissue expander above the muscle. Shout out Dr Unger!!! 🙌🏻

That’s the update today. I know it’s not a pretty update but I’m hopeful that each day will continue to get better.

Published by

tatatocancer

I was diagnosed with Stage IIIA Grade 2, HR/PR positive HER2 negative breast cancer at age 31. I am now NED!

34 thoughts on “The Good, the Bad, the Ugly”

  1. Greetings from a bed in Germantown! My story mirrors yours. Stay strong, beautiful! My double was Feb. 13 at Vandy. There are good days, bad days, frustrating days, tears, pain, smiles, and more. Life is still great and this too will pass. Early detection saves lives! I will never stop saying that! Make today purposeful!

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    1. So glad to hear you are doing better! And you have an awesome attitude. Sorry you are going thru this mess. But glad we both caught ours early. Here for you if you need to talk. 🙂

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  2. Love you, honey. You are a very good writer – straightforward, pulling no punches, raw & honest. Continuing for each day to get a bit better. Hugs.

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  3. You are one strong woman! Always know that thousands and thousands and thousands of people are pulling for you and praying for your recovery. And most of us have never even met you! ❤️

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  4. Pain reminds us that there is healing. And honestly, you are beautiful in your pain and in your tears. Warrior on, beauty! Your army is cheering for you.

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  5. I am adopted and do not know my family medical history; at all. I’m anxiously awaiting the results of those DNA testing services; but I’m thinking about saying the heck with that and just requesting a mamogram. I’m 35… and I’m not sure why some of this isn’t routine, at 25 or 30 just for a baseline. If we didn’t have to come back for 5 years, okay, perfect, but what is it going to hurt to start the baseline a bit earlier!? Thank you for sharing, the good, the bad, the ugly. Hopefully today and tonight are better!

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  6. I’ve been putting off my mammogram for 3 years now because I’m scared. I’m gonna schedule it now though. You’re so brave! Thanks for sharing! I feel like there should be a Pimpin Joy shirt from The Shop Forward to help raise money for Christina Applegate’s charity. Also, did you know that Lesley Murphy from The Bachelor had this done not long ago? I just heard her talking about it last week. Clearly this is a sign I need to put my big girl panties on and go get my mammogram.

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    1. It is definitely scary waiting for test results. But it’s better to do them in case you do have cancer bc you can catch it early! Also if you don’t it will leave you with an awesome peace of mind. 💕

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  7. Sometimes the universe sends us the craziest signs- stumbled upon your writing after watching Bobby Bones’ insta story and man did I need to read your words tonight. I had to go back and double check that my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me when I jumped to your posts. My mind is blown at how many young women I have met on this unwanted journey that share our story- lumps, bruises, strange feelings all found by accident. So many under 35, yet they keep telling me how rare my diagnosis is and how young I am. My journey mirrors yours in so many ways- my surgery occurred March 6th, I too elected to go the extreme with the double mastectomy. I’m 33 years young with no family hx of this disease- discovered my lump on complete accident and thank the Lord I did! Two weeks and 3 days out from surgery and I can tell you the pain does fade, sure my arm pits ache with movement- but the ache reminds me of how damn tough I am, how damn tough all of us women who wear the scars of this awful disease are! keeping a healthy and positive mind certainly does help your recovery, I just keep telling myself that this disease is not taking any more happy moments from my life. Sending you good vibes lady, know that you are a warrior and you walk this path with many!! Thank you also for a good reminder!

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    1. Hi Jess. We sound like we have a lot in common! I’m glad you are on the road to recovery. It def isn’t something that I thought I’d be dealing with. Especially in my 30s. But hey we did it! And we now have our story to tell help others our age. I was astonished the amount of people I met that were our age and younger with cancer. It’s just not right. Keep strong and I’m here for you if you ever want to talk or vent or laugh. 🙂

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  8. Ok just read all your posts. I lived through the drains part with my mom, and yes, they kind of suck but once you get them out you will feel SO MUCH better. I’m so happy that you are pushing the fact of early detection. My screenings were luckily doctor ordered/mandated but it’s insane that they don’t offer that for all women. Even at age 30. Thanks for being willing to put your story out there. You have no idea how many people’s lives you are affecting. Stay as positive as you can but don’t be afraid to say that sometimes things might suck. You are a badass! Sending allll the positive vibes to you!

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      1. Laura – thanks for your sweet words about my mom. She was a tough tough lady and I’m lucky to have been raised by her. I watched her battle this crap for too long so I am committed to staying on top of my screenings. Keep up the positive attitude! You’re doing amazing! And just imagine how awesome your boobs will look when this is all over! 😄

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  9. Laura _ My mum had just the one breast removed back in 2012 and I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this as such a young age and really, at all. NO woman deserves this. I just want to say to you, please watch your drain tubes & your health.. and especially how you feel.. My mum started to feel ill and lethargic and thought she may be coming down with something, but no, it ended up with poisoning in her blood from the drainage tubes and put her into the hospital for a week. It really knocked her about.
    I know she is decades older than you, but please, listen to your body!! If you don’t feel right, go and be seen too.
    I pray for your speedy recovery and hope that your battle is a short & victorious one.
    You got this!

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  10. Because of YOU, I scheduled and got my mammogram today. You truly are a voice and inspiration to ALL WOMEN!!!
    You are a wonderful, great, and awesome woman. I thank you for sharing your story with the world.
    I am praying for you!

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