Tata to Cancer

Hey, my name is Judy and I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer while on maternity leave with my third child.  It was March 2019, and at the end of the day I always take my bra off and give my tatas a little massage.  I found a small lump that felt like a Skittle.  I had my husband feel it and he thought it was unusual as well.  I was 9 months into my maternity leave so I figured maybe it was hormones balancing out but my mind was racing that night.  I got in to my doctor’s office 2 days later and saw my friend who is a nurse, she felt it and had the doctor in the office that day feel it as well. I was expecting them to give me all the right words to diffuse my concern. I was hoping they would say that it felt totally normal but that we would do tests to be sure, or better yet, to stop my worrying. This was not the case. They had concerned faces, and I got the requisition for an ultrasound and biopsy. I move through these steps but the thoughts of “why me, why this, and why now” were toxic and overwhelming. That and a two month wait for results were perhaps the hardest of all the days with no direction, no diagnosis and no plan.

We had a road trip to Disney World with our entire family planned during that month.  It kept me busy but my mind was still very much consumed with wonder.  While on vacation I was very much living in a “what if?” state of mind.  It was somewhat of a blessing because it forced me to go on rides at Disney I would have never gone on with my oldest.  My mind frame each day was “what if this is my last time here, or last time on a family vacation…I’m going on the ride, I’m buying any souvenir my kids want, or I want!”  It was good in a way because we did everything and we went all out! It will certainly be a trip we will never forget. But hard because so much of the risk taking and moment loving came from a place of worry and fear. It had a sobering way of making me seize the moments and ferociously love my family.

My doctor called while we were on vacation (about 2 weeks after the biopsy). She said the results needed a second opinion.  I had a complete meltdown, it lasted about an hour.  I called a friend from home who works in the medical field and she shed some light on why it might need a second opinion and she totally settled me down.   About a week after we got home my doctor called me into her office.  That’s the first time that has ever happened and I knew it couldn’t be good.  When I arrived the nurse (my friend) came out and asked if my husband was coming in, it was like a rush of adrenaline hit me, I knew why she was asking if he’d be there….he wasn’t, he was returning later because he was out of town for work.  A few minutes later they called me into the office.  I could tell they had been crying, both my doctor and nurse are friends.  “You have invasive ductal carcinoma” is what she said.  The word “invasive” seemed so scary to me at the time.  I had a million questions flood my mind and knew they couldn’t be answered then but I started babbling them off anyway.  “Am I going to die? How will I tell my oldest daughter? I don’t want to see my parents cry…what’s going to happen? What does this mean?” Then I cried.  Then I drove home and my parents were there waiting for me.  I went for a drive with my mom, it was like a pep talk.  “We got this, we will do whatever it takes, it’s ok”.  When we got back home my husband was there he gave me a hug and I could tell he’d been crying.  Then I felt like the adrenaline had left my body and I could finally breathe.  But then I wanted to search the internet “invasive ductal carcinoma” but I did my best to leave that to my husband.  At this stage the words felt foreign, the diagnosis didn’t seem real and the next steps felt like someone else’s path and not my own.

I updated my friends and family with my news. Each time I said it out loud it became a little more real.  And then in a moment of vulnerability to this new reality, I started sharing my story on my Instagram account and the support was overwhelming.  It was so helpful.  It kept me focused.  If I was feeling down or sad I’d open my messages and I would read encouraging words from family, friends and even old friends I’d lost touch with.  It was incredible. It was a big and hard step as a normally quite private person but I quickly realized what an important role sharing your story is when it comes to the acceptance, battle and healing from this disease.  Then my best friend who lives in Nashville shared the Tata to Cancer site with me.  I felt like I connected with so many of the women on the blog.  It was the best thing for me to read.  No more searching the internet and reading horror stories, I read about these brave women and their journeys.  I started following many of them online and it encouraged me to do the same and share my story.

My husband and I told our oldest daughter I had breast cancer together.  We said “I have a small lump in one of my breast (pointed to it), it’s cancer.  I’m going to get medicine that may make me sick, and then I will have surgery to cut the cancer out.  But because I take care of my body the rest of me is still very healthy and I am going to fight this.”  She said “you are so strong Mommy, you will fight this and win, I will help you”.  She gave me the best hug and I cried and she told me “it will be ok”.  I have never felt so ready to fight in my life.  In that single moment, I saw my 7 year old girl as a young woman, a supportive, brave, empathetic young woman and I was both sad for what we were about to go through as a family but so proud that she was mine.

An appointment with my surgeon was scheduled for 3 weeks later.  3 MORE WEEKS of waiting.  The waiting was incredibly hard.  I could no longer hold back from searching online.  It was the worst thing for me.  I would read awful stories and negative comments…it felt never ending.  When I would stop I would be crying and my husband had to talk me through everything we knew about MY situation, not everyone else’s situation online.  It was hard.

I met my surgeon and I ended up needing another biopsy which delayed the process a bit longer.  But after that and a few more mammograms I was so over people telling me what was going to happen to my body I went and got my hair cut short.  This was very empowering.  I finally felt in control.  Then a couple weeks later I went even shorter.  I was finding it comforting taking control and playing with new styles. My hairdresser was amazing, she and her husband and brand new baby welcomed me into their home at any time just to help me through that difficult stage.  It was so good for me. My surgeon told me I’d lose my hair, there was no doubt it would fall out, so I wasn’t worried about doing it too soon.

I had my first round of chemo 3.5 months after finding my lump.  As nervous as I was I was ready, I wanted to start this fight and move on.  I had chemo on a Monday afternoon and by that evening I was incredibly nauseous and exhausted.  This lasted for 3 days.  Then from day 4-5 I was able to leave the house for an hour and come home and have a two hour nap.  By day 6 I was feeling like myself again.  I was so happy to eat solid food and feel like myself.  I knew if this is what it was like I could handle it.  I could do 6 days of feeling like crap and 15 days of myself for a few months.

I had docetaxel for my 4^th and 5^th round (#6 to come this month).  At first I thought this is great, I was sore but it was manageable.  But it lingered for days.  I was sore, achy, had nose bleeds, headaches, bruising, pain in my fingers and joints and I couldn’t taste anything.  I wasn’t myself after this and that made things hard for me.  But I only have 1 round left and then surgery and radiation.  I’m over the half way point of chemo, knowing that helps.

My family, friends and community have been my inspiration.  They have been incredibly supportive.  My family has received cards, food, gift cards, money, babysitting, visits, gift baskets and more.  This journey has brought us closer to our family, friends and community.  I have my down days and during those times I read through the cards and emails people have sent and it brings me back up.  My husband has been AMAZING.  He’s always one step ahead of me, lifting me up, bringing me a treat or picking up the kids early and taking them out when he knows I’m just too tired.  He makes staying positive easier. The kids make it easier.  Reading about other women and their journeys make it easier.  I hope that sharing my story can help at least one person or a family member get through a tough moment.  xo

My name is Sami Pickens, and I am a 29-year-old breast cancer survivor (BRCA1). I want to share the story of how my diagnosis occurred and a timeline of the steps as it happened. Even though I work in healthcare as a clinical pharmacist at a hospital, I had no idea what to expect in terms of timeline or next steps and I hope that this sheds some light on that for someone else embarking upon this journey.

Anyone that knows me knows I work out basically everyday – and I absolutely love it. Well in February after coming off a foot injury and stopping my half marathon training, I was so excited to get back into lifting. So, I started training bench press and pushups A LOT (both of these things make me feel badass.)

Long story short my pec muscles were super sore, so I was pressing on them to try to massage them out and I felt a marble sized HARD lump on my left breast. I felt my stomach flip flop. I reached out to my mom and some close friends, they all assured me it was most likely some type of cyst or fibroadenoma, but they agreed I should have someone look at it.

Please go to the doctor. I was so lucky to be able to feel the lump and be able to catch it early. I was so aware of my body and something not being right. Listen to your body. Go to your appointments, workout regularly and know what normal feels like.

My first appointment was in middle of March where I showed my OBGYN where I felt a lump, two weeks later I had a mammogram and ultrasound. The mammogram stated my breast tissue was too dense for diagnosis and the ultrasound told us that it most definitely was not a cyst but that’s all they knew.

4/9/19 – stereo-static biopsy (14 of them) for further diagnosing

4/11/19 – Diagnosis day, 28 years old. I knew the name of the cancer and that’s it. Invasive ductal carcinoma. The days after this felt like months waiting as results came back and plans were made. I always thought when someone is diagnosed with cancer, they are given a lot more information on the cancer itself and what will happen next – you don’t!

I really love cows. I love where I live because I get to drive past empty fields of cows on my way home every day. I was right in front of the beginning of those cows when my phone rang. I immediately felt like I was going to throw up and continued to sweat through my scrubs as I had been all day.

Me: Hello?

Surgeon verified it’s me yada yada.

Sami, I have some bad news the biopsy did come back positive for invasive ductal breast cancer.

Me: silent. *ears ringing so loud I wasn’t sure if I would be able to speak loud enough for him to hear me or not anyways*

Surgeon: Sami, did you hear me?

*the tears started falling* (I don’t cry very often and usually there’s a big reason)

Me: “yes I heard you.” *voice trembling*

Surgeon: it’s going to be okay you are strong and young and healthy, and we are going to get through this. We will call you and get you back into the office Monday to figure out what the plan is.

Me: okay thank you bye.

Here’s where I am not sure what I was supposed to do. Obviously, I was in shock. How do you go from doctors’ visits for sports physicals and getting hurt working out to having cancer?!

I am annoyingly honest. I have been the friend that is invited to wedding dress shopping because I’ll say it doesn’t look great. I know this, I own it. It’s okay.

So, I picked up the phone and called my husband and said I got bad news it’s cancer I’ll be home in 5 minutes and basically hung up on him. In retrospect, I’m sorry Justin (I didn’t even tell him what kind or anything and I know that had to drive him nuts). Then I called my mom and said “are you with dad at work? Go get him and put it on speaker phone.”

This was the second I realized how bad this was going to suck. Not only because I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and by this point was basically have a panic attack but because I realized from here on out all those family members and friends – I was about to continue to ruin each and every one of their days.

I never felt so loved in my whole life as that Thursday evening and night. All the family and friends as they heard. But also, because of Justin. We cried a lot, we also laughed and said, “What the f***?!” (Sorry mom). We were in shock and scared and he started saying right then starting today we will only be a stronger couple because of this. That meant so much.

4/15/19 – surgery consult with same surgeon as biopsy week prior. At that appointment all that he knew was the name of the cancer, that it was around 1.5 cm, and estrogen and progestin 90% positive (good news because there are direct drugs that target that). He said we would also need to know HER2 status to know about the whole treatment plan, but it was up to me to go ahead and do a lumpectomy or wait for HER2. I chose to schedule the lumpectomy for 4/18/19. I wanted the cancer OUT.

4/16/19 – first oncologist appointment. This appointment was a lot more to handle than I thought it would be. I HATE needles (although I’m learning that I’m tougher than I thought with that stuff) and first thing that happened was drawing 6 vials of blood when I got back to the room. I then met the chemo oncologist as well as the nurse practitioner. They only knew what I had so far 4/15/19 but the oncologist prepped me for the mindset that my cancer would most likely be HER2 positive at my age so I would first need chemo prior to any surgery of removing the mass. He asked for permission to get another vial of blood to have my genetic tests run (included many many markers including BRCA1 BRCA2). We also called the general surgeon and cancelled my surgery for Thursday pending HER2 results.

4/23/19 I had already been told the HER2 results were negative but now get a call that some of my genetic markers are back and that I am BRCA1 positive so now I have a HIGH recurrence rate risk, and also have a high risk of ovarian cancer. Treating aggressively would be more necessary. This day is when we decided to do the double mastectomy with reconstruction. I read about BRCA1 and everything else you could imagine the rest of that day. It was a rough one.

Since April I have loved more than I ever thought I could, I have worked harder at work, I have enjoyed every moment more than the last. I have had a double mastectomy with tissue expanders, and recovered from an implant exchange in July of 2019 and now have foobs (breast cancer loving term for fake boobs)!!

I choose each day when I wake up to not let worry be greater than my faith. I am praying that after my five-year course of tamoxifen (and 5 years of monthly Zoladex injections) that my husband and I are able to have a baby. We are hopeful because I was so young that I will be able to come out of menopause before having a prophylactic ovariectomy (due to BRCA1 mutation). I do not want to worry about my higher chance of ovarian cancer, and it makes me feel like I have some control over it all.

2019 has not gone as planned, but I am certain that through all of this I have become a better wife, sister, daughter, friend, pharmacist, and co-worker.

If you are reading this and have been diagnosed with breast cancer and need someone to talk with, please don’t hesitate to reach out on Instagram @Sami_Pickens. I have met some of the most amazing women through this journey this year, and love the opportunity to meet other warriors! God has a plan for your life, and I pray that this will be just a chapter of your story which makes you better in so many other ways. Ta ta to cancer! We are stronger!

Sami Pickens

My name is Joanie Matisak and I’m just beginning my breast cancer story.  I was diagnosed mid June 2019 with invasive lobular carcinoma between stages one and two.

I have gone for my yearly mammogram for the last 27 years because my mother passed away from breast cancer that had metastasized in 1989.  She smoked her whole life and back then people did not go to the doctor for these very important check ups like we do now.

From my mammogram back in May I was sent back for a recheck, then had ultrasound guided biopsy and then also a steristatic biopsy.  Following both of those positive findings of invasive lobular carcinoma, I was also sent for an MRI which confirmed those two spots as well as found two other very small spots.

I am scheduled for a single mastectomy on Tuesday, August 6. It is only my left side that is affected. During my surgery they will be checking lymph nodes to see if they are affected and will have a better picture moving forward on that day. If genetic test come back positive as well as any sentinel nodes affected, a bilateral may be done.  Lots of what ifs until then.

Staying positive that we have caught this very early. My general surgeon even said that whatever radiologists read my original mammogram is a genius to have found it.

Update…

My unilateral mastectomy went well on August 6th. No radiation was needed and my surgeon was able to do reconstruction right away because my lymph nodes were clear! Also, found out all 3 tumors were not connected in any way so that keeps me at stage 1. BRCA genes were negative, as well as the oncotypeDX testing on my ILC tumors came back at very low risk so my oncologist will not be recommending me for chemo!!!! I will however be taking Armidex for a few years at least.  Tomorrow Oct. 2nd, I will be having my mastopexy/ lift on my right breast that was not affected by breast cancer, for symmetry.

To say I have been very lucky with my early detection and diagnosis doesn’t seem to quite cut it.

I was built to be competitive. It didn’t matter what it was I was going to win, and I was going to give it my all. Here is my story of where I am going to win yet again. I am Nikki, I was diagnosed with stage 3A breast cancer November 9^th, 2018.

My journey begins on a day where I was so naïve to my body, or was I? My husband and I had taken our two boys to the beach for fall break. I love the beach, I could sit at the ocean all day long with my feet lingering in the water. We came in for the day and we were all showering. When I got out, I was getting ready just like any other day. As I went to put deodorant on, I noticed when I raised my left arm that my breast looked odd. I raised my right arm up, nope nothing – that one looked normal. So, as I continued to play the game of up down up down, I pulled back the curtain asked my husband to look. He shook it off as not a huge deal.  Looking back now he knew something was not right. That day I will never forget October 2^nd, 2018. So, what do I do next – Yep Dr. Google, I went? I looked up signs of breast cancer right away. Nothing looked like this so that was somewhat comforting to know and see. The next morning, I called my OBGYN asked for the next available appointment, 2 days later I was being seen and being told “I really think you are ok. I think this is Fibrocystic disease.” Many women have this as they get older and closer to 40.” I was thankful that my OB took the next step, he ordered a mammogram and ultrasound to rule anything out. The scary part of all this was there was nothing to be felt, seen and nothing hurt! I later found out that most cancerous tumors do not hurt. 2 weeks later was the mammogram, nothing was showing up that was profound so ultrasound time it was. You know it’s a bad sign when all the other ladies go in for their mammogram and come right back out. The radiologist who was giving the ultrasound couldn’t see anything profound yet again, but there was a dark shadow. I could tell by her mannerisms something was wrong she just was not at liberty to say. She suggested I see a breast surgeon who specialized in this type of imagery. So, another 2 weeks go by and more waiting.

November 5^th, 2018 was the appointment with the Breast Surgeon, who by the way ended up being one of the coolest doctors I have ever had. As she comes in to examine me and I was playing the up down game again with her, she too said, “I really think this looks like fibrocystic” and she wasn’t concerned. I asked her “have you seen this before and what can I do to make the breast look normal again”. Imagine an orange with a huge dimple in it on one side. Only the other side of the orange completely nice and pretty. That is what my left breast looked like, ONLY WHEN I RAISED MY ARM. We talked more and more, and she suggested we just watch it for 3 months or so and revisit after the 1^st of the year. Something inside told me NO keep pressing. I frowned upon that when she told me, and she asked me “what do you want to do “and I said, “I want to know why I look odd and I would like to know now”. She said ok, I can do a biopsy. I asked how long that took to schedule she told me we will do right now. As she and the nurse left the room, I asked my sister will that hurt as she too has had a biopsy as well. She assured me that it would be fine and nothing too crazy. Well boy! Was she wrong! I was like a fish out of water on that table as they cut my breast open to collect the tissue to be sent off to pathologist.

So here goes another round of the waiting game.

As I was told weeks before “we will call you with the results.” You cannot even relax your mind over thinking do I or don’t I have cancer. That was a Monday afternoon, and that Friday November 9^th, 2018 would change my life forever.

I got the call late Friday afternoon on my way home from work. When I answered I was shocked to hear the doctor’s voice, I was expecting the nurse. She proceeded to tell me that indeed that was a small spot of breast cancer. (Remember small). I asked her what the next step was, and she said meet with the plastic surgeon about surgery and they would get everything lined up for me. Before we hung up so told me she was sorry and that breast cancer survivors have a high survival rate and that I would be just fine. She also apologized for wanting to watch it and praised me for being my own advocate on pushing her to find out.

What do you do when you hear, you have cancer? A million things ran into my head as I continued to drive home. It was like I was numb to the news. I called my husband as I was on my way to pick my kids up from school. Of course, I was broken this wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I was relatively healthy. He assured me we would do whatever needed to be done to get me through this and told me he loved me. We hung up so he could meet me at home. Upon arriving at home, I just fell into his arms and asked why me? We cannot ask why, I now know that but to be mad and sad were both understatements. I made the dreadful calls to my other family members and just thought wow I have cancer. I couldn’t even bring myself to say that aloud. I can remember telling my husband and my sister I am not ready to die. I was 36 years old I have so many things I wanted to do, to see and most of all I wasn’t ready to leave this Earth until I saw my boys grown. I was not ready to let my husband do this along. He needed me just as much as I needed him. But telling your kids, wow that was tough. At the time I had a 5- and 12-year sons. They didn’t grasp the magnitude this was about to take place. Our world was about to be rocked. I remember my oldest crying not really understanding what cancer was, how was this going to affect him. My little one just cried because everyone else was crying, he had no idea what was going on. But I was very open with them both whether they knew what was going on or not they were going to know what was going on every step of the way and could ask me anything they wanted to.

A double mastectomy was recommended right away with reconstructive surgery per the plastic surgeon and breast surgeon. They both thought it was best to do both breast at same time and have peace of mind that this would not travel elsewhere with removing both.  I was not told that chemo or radiation was needed, it was surgery and you should be good to go. It was a small spot of cancer remember? I met my Oncologist for the first time 2 days before my big surgery, she suggested that I try this trial for 5-6 months to see if the tumor shrinks. I asked if the same outcome would happen as far as taking both breasts and the answer was, “yes.” I opted out of that trial and straight to surgery for me. I was already mentally prepared to have two body parts removed from my body, I did not want to back track.

December 13^th, 2018, I underwent a bilateral mastectomy. Surgery went well and that “small” spot of cancer was a tad over 5 centimeters, as big as a Kiwi. I had 14 lymph nodes removed and 10 of them were diseased. I came out with 4 JP drains that were attached to my sides. 2 on each side. Sleeping was a pain and walking made you drain blood more so staying laid up was the best for the drains. The goal was to get those suckers out. I was able to get them out in less than 4 weeks. Needless to say, the next real shower was amazing, no more drains and no more sponge baths!

Then the fun started January 29^th was my 1^st chemo treatment. I would end up having 6 treatments that would last over 18 weeks. It was quite aggressive and that 1^st treatment not sure I have ever been so sick. But I managed to make it through all the treatments and continue to work and I never missed my kids’ activities. I told my husband the boys’ lives must remain normal. I didn’t want their lives turned upside down anymore than what they were about to see. 2 weeks after my 1st chemo treatment my hair was gone. My hair follicles hurt so bad, as it started to come out by the handfuls. I was done with it, I wanted my head shaved so bad.

I was blessed enough to have my dad buy me the best wig possible for all to carry on like I was still me. Looking back now that saved my sanity more than anyone will ever know. It didn’t affect my appearance for my boys, they knew my hair was gone but to physically see that they never did. I was still just mom to them. April 23^rd, 2019 was the last chemo treatment for me. As the treatments continued the more and more tired, I was. Going and doing normal things were tougher for me. My husband made sure that I would get out and go places, it was so easy to just want to lay around my body was beat down. I was sore and nothing tasted good so why go out to eat when you can’t taste it. As chemo ended, I was ready to continue to the next step. Although my doctors gave me a break, I was ready for radiation. I wanted to continue and not miss a beat. Radiation would be 25 treatments every single day for 5 weeks. Treatments consisted of the breathing technique, hold your breath so radiation could penetrate right to the cancerous area and not affect your lungs or heart. Some days were great some harder. The more treatment I received the more tired I would get. By the end of the 5 weeks I was subconscious laying on that table trying to stay awake. I swore by CeraVe lotion and used the medicated cream as directed and didn’t burn too bad. The team there was awesome and blessed yet again to have them caring for me. June 27^th, 2019 was the last radiation. It was bittersweet for me. I knew I needed that treatment but was so ready to have that time every day back. They gave me a certificate of completion and a small guardian angel pin and I just sat in my car and cried knowing that I was done. I was so proud of myself for getting through chemo and radiation and knew that I was going to win once again!

July 27^th,2019 we celebrated with a huge party for Tata to Cancer! I was finished with all my treatments and now I get to let my hair down and be surrounded by the people who supported me and helped make this journey as easy as possible. I was showered with warm hugs of you did it and we are so proud of you. Little did every one of those people know they had a piece in it all just as much as the next to make me feel beautiful and loved.

Fast forward to August 27^th, 2019 I had my tubes and ovaries removed as my cancer was hormonal so that was going go be the next step to make sure this nasty disease doesn’t cause issues elsewhere. I am not even a year out and I have had 4 surgeries and one to go. The last one is the good one though, I am gaining something back from cancer. It may have taken my God given breasts, but God will put me in the hands of the best plastic surgeon to give me something back and make me feel like a woman again.  To be honest I cannot even hardly remember what I looked like without my breasts. I would remove them 10 out 10 times if that mean one more day on this earth with the people that I love.

I have remained as positive as I possibly can. I have had the best supporters surrounding me and people that don’t even know me pray for me. The power of prayer is real and felt so many days when I was falling into those ugly thoughts and rabbit hole of dark moments. Until you are afflicted with cancer you will never understand what it does to your mind, body and soul. I treat everyday now as if it’s the last. I make sure to pray for people when they might need it, I make sure that I laugh a little harder and cry often, and I always make sure the people I love, know that I love them and mean it. Going through the motions for me is never an answer.  I am forever grateful to all my doctors who helped me get through this and still care for me today. They all had their hand on helping me win.

I was blessed to have people come clean my home, take care of my kids, cook us dinner. The calls, the text messages, the emails and cards all carried a piece of my healing and helped keep my spirits up.

My family, each and every one of them have remained constant in supporting me every step of the way. They made this journey easier and as fun as possible. We have laughed more than we have cried, and we have held each other just a little tighterbecause none of us are promised tomorrow. 

My husband, Justin, has been my biggest rock. There hasn’t been a day go by that he has not told me how beautiful I am, with hair with no hair, with my breast or just with these expanders I have today. I have always felt special to him. To him I am no different I am just the girl he married 16 years ago. Through the good times and the bad we have continued to laugh and cry along the way and never lose sight of the end goal, WIN!

My boys have been a huge bright source for me healing. They’ve continued to make me laugh and keep things in perspective. Battling through the good and bad times I hope they know how special they are to me more and more each day and I hope that they know we get up each day to win and giving up is never an option. 

I am now a part of a sorority that no one wants to be in but of once you are chosen the support and friendships will last a lifetime. I want to be able to be ray of hope to the next woman in need. When she finds herself in my shoes, I hope she knows she is not alone. If you take anything from my story it would be don’t be naïve to your body, listen to it. Press the doctors for more answers. 

If I had not pressed, my outcome might have been a lot different,but I am here, and I did win, and I will continue to win the rest of my life.

We are taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming to share a recap of our recent event in Nashville which Laura and I hosted with Making Strides Against Cancer.

What happens when 115 individuals who care about making a difference in the fight against breast cancer get together on a Saturday morning? You have the Breast Brunch Ever! You enjoy unbelievable food, crafty morning cocktails, lots of laughs and maybe even a few tears. And overall you join a community; a community of survivors, thrivers and advocates for the cause.

It was an honor to be able to host an event to raise awareness and bring together a community of amazing women who are banding together to fight breast cancer. The goal of the day was not only to build community and raise funds for the American Cancer Society, it was to share knowledge and experiences which make us stronger together. We want to say THANK YOU to all who attended and/or donated to the cause, together we raised $4612 for our Making Strides Team Tata to Cancer!

This event was birthed by our beloved Making Strides walk chairs Debbie Thomas and Mallory Martin when they reached out to Laura and I to host an event for young breast cancer survivors. Of course, we couldn’t start small. We wanted to host an event that y’all would want to come to which was not only to talk about cancer but was to have a little fun and a reason to dress up! That is when planning this brunch became a labor of love. Together with our friends in the breast cancer community: Jocelyn Limmer and Jarrah Paschall we landed a space at Alfred Williams and a LOT of fun ideas. We were even lucky enough to have local businesses donate to the cause and support our idea to build our special #PimpinJoy bag (courtesy of The Shop Forward) of goodies and a few fun giveaways. We cannot thank all of the donors enough as the event would not have been the same without these items to remember it by. And we cannot forget one of our main events, Austin from Winkie Lux, who made so many women feel beautiful as they had a makeup application or went home with some fun new products. A special thanks to all of our sponsors and donors who are listed below.

In the end, the highlight of our day was the amazing panel of guests which really did make it the “Breast Brunch”. Dr. Jacob Unger, Dr. Habib Doss, Jarrah Paschall and Amanda Cortese- THANK YOU!   Dr. Unger and Dr. Doss donated their time and their knowledge to this event and openly shared advice and information which will help us individually and to help others. A fellow survivor said it best today when she told me it was great to have a conversation with a Doctor with clothes on rather than sitting naked in a gown…maybe there is something to be said for this approach! Jarrah shared with us how important it is to care for yourself during and after treatment by giving us some highlights of how she coaches women to health through her company Wellness Warrior. And Amanda…this woman is a rock star! Amanda’s story is one of true grit and courage and she so openly shared with us how she is a thriver and has faced her Stage 4 diagnosis with positivity and determination to beat it. All of our speakers taught us something new and gave us a different perspective on this disease which we all want to beat.

While I cannot come close to describing how this event made us feel, we can merely say Thank You and hope that you know how we will cherish your presence and support of this cause which is so near and dear to our hearts.

Finally, a special thanks to our friends, family and the ACS volunteers who helped us make this happen!

If you would like to walk with us or donate to say Tata to Cancer, click here to help us in Making Strides Against Breast Cancer.

TATA to Cancer shirts are available at theshopforward.com or by clicking here.

Thank you to all of our sponsors and donors!

Space provided by Alfred Williams, thanks to Ted Limmer.

Food and drinks provided by Answer. With drinks curated by Kayla Sigountos.

The Shop Forward

Dr. Jacob Unger

Aila

Survivor Fitness

Trisha Yearwood

Winkie Lux

Camp Gladiator

Poppy and Monroe

City Winery

Here are some other fun pictures from the event.

Angela

Laura

As I sit here listening to praise and worship music, I couldn’t be more grateful to God for his blessings bestowed upon me during my cancer journey.

My name is Jill. My journey started 3 years ago at the age of 34. I discovered something was different with my breast before getting the shower one day. I knew immediately something bad was wrong. I’ve always been taught or have read that any breast changes should be of concern. I immediately made an appointment with my gynecologist and that’s where my breast cancer journey began.

March of 2016 I was diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma. I have the luxury of being located only a couple of hours away from the world’s most renowned cancer center. M.D. Anderson (MDA) in Houston, Texas is who I chose as my medical team. Like many of you, I have no family history of breast cancer. My father was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2006, but other than that our family didn’t have cancer running through it. By the way, my father is still thriving now 13 years later from his diagnosis.

I don’t remember all the specifics of the process of how things went, I just remember it was very overwhelming. My life had been turned upside down. I have dealt with heartache and pain unfortunately more times than I’d like to have experienced in my young 34 years of life, but this was truly on a whole other level. I am married to my high school sweetheart, Trey, with whom I’ve been with for 20 years. That’s over half of our lifetime! We have a beautiful daughter Olivia, who will be turning 7 years old next month. At the time of my diagnosis she was 3 ½ years old.

So, there I was, 34 years old, with a 3-year-old child, a husband and best friend, whom I did not want to leave. All I thought of was that I was going to die and leave them alone. I know what it feels like to not have your mom around. I didn’t want to leave my child without a mother for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, this is where my mindset was.

I cried all day and all night, every minute of every day. I prayed and I prayed all day and all night, every minute of every day. I considered myself the rock of our family. And now what? Who was going to take care of the bills? Who was going to grocery shop and keep the house clean? Who was going to get Olivia to school and to her events? Okay, so maybe I’m a little bit of a control freak, but I am just a mom. And that’s what mom’s do. We take care of everything.

And now I was so worried I was going to die and leave my child and who was going to take care of everything?

I had to get a grip on myself. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, after a couple of weeks of being in complete hysteria, I sought help. I reached out to my team at MDA and scheduled an appointment with a psychologist. Immediately after I made that phone call, I felt relief. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. As I mentioned before, I lost my loving mother, my best friend, when I was 25 years old. So, this feeling wasn’t completely lost on me. I knew what I had to do, and I couldn’t do it alone.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, after meeting with the psychologist and getting some medication to help me cope, I was doing much better. I don’t want to sound insincere, or not appreciative of the encouraging words “you’re so strong”, but I kind of cringe when people say that. I’m not “STRONG”. I’m not strong at all. I think if anyone is put in an unfortunate situation, they are going to seek a will to live like no other. I’m weak, I’m human, I weep and worry. But when it comes down to it, my will to live was “stronger” than my desire to give up and die. Some may disagree, but I don’t see myself strong nor do I see my journey as making me strong. I just am who I am.

My daughter Olivia didn’t have any idea what was going on. She is VERY much a momma’s girl. So, when I had to leave her for my first surgery, it was extremely hard on her, and I was only gone a couple of nights. I chose to have a bilateral mastectomy. That’s what I love most about my surgeon at MDA, he was so kind and so endearing and sincere. He gave me all the options, but in the end, he said it was my choice as to what I wanted to do, that it was my body.

My reasoning for choosing the double mastectomy was because I had previously had issues with my right breast in the past, having a fibroadenoma. I didn’t want any chance of recurrence in my other breast and for symmetry purposes, I thought this would be best for me.

As you can imagine, my curious 3-year-old had lots of questions when I returned home from surgery. Bless her heart, I couldn’t hug her and hold her for quite some time. It hurt both of us emotionally. I know everyone has a different perspective of how to involve their children with their diagnosis but to this day I haven’t ever used the word Cancer around her. In my opinion she is a child, an innocent child and I never want to burden her with fear or worry if I can avoid it.

We said things like “mommy had a boo boo that the doctor had to take out”. As I’ve mentioned before and I’m sure those of you that are mothers can attest that you never get a moment alone.

Therefore, Olivia saw everything. Of course, Trey and I were cautious to not scare her with any bloody or gross dressings, but she saw my scars and drain tubes. I tried my very best to not
make this a bad experience for her and to teach her that the doctors were helping me. It turns out my pathology results and my Syntel-node biopsy showed that my cancer had spread into my lymph nodes. This was a devastating hit again. Previously, before going into surgery, my doctor and team of nurses were praising me for catching this early and even they didn’t suspect it had spread. Thank goodness for modern medicine and science.

This news obviously changed the course of action and I was referred to an oncologist and a radiologist. So many appointments and still so overwhelming.

Prior to visiting my oncologist, I had already decided that I would be open to whatever treatment plan he had in store for me. After he explained his course of action, and I replied with “yes, I will do whatever it takes,” he literally sighed of relief. We had a chuckle about that. I suppose more people are hesitant about chemotherapy and the drugs involved. I tried to remind myself often that chemotherapy was not “poison”, that it was medicine that was going to cure me.

I had about 3-4 weeks from my mastectomy surgery to heal and think about or act towards preserving my eggs for future children. My sweet loving husband left it up to me as to what I wanted to do. He said it was my body. Therefore, I chose to forgo the egg retrieval process.

One thing I have learned most from this journey, is that I am not in control. And if God wanted me to have more children, then he will bless us.

I began my chemotherapy treatments in June of 2016. 4 rounds of Adriamycin (the red devil) and then another 12 rounds of paclitaxel. I eventually didn’t complete my chemotherapy until October of 2016.

Hair loss was the least of my concerns, but there again, I have a young daughter, who, was devastated and couldn’t understand why I was losing my hair. She asked me all the time when my hair was going to grow back. She cried and begged. I hated it for her. I told her it would, but that it would take time. Try explaining that to an almost 4-year-old princess. She eventually became used to it, and she loved telling people in public that I didn’t have any hair (ha ha).

I worked through my entire chemotherapy treatments. During the first 8 weeks of the red devil, I would have my treatment on a Thursday and would be off from work until the following Wednesday or Thursday. Then the cycle would repeat itself and I would go back for treatment the next week. I only had one week of feeling “good” between treatments. My oncology nurse and doctor were amazing and helped me with the nausea and other side effects. I never got “sick” from the chemotherapy, but I begin to develop what my doctor called “anticipatory anxiety” on the days of my treatment. Reminder, I have a 2-hour drive to Houston, and it would start. I would get nauseous, “car sick” is what I thought it was, and even the smell of MDA made me sick (not that it smells, I was just super sensitive at the time). I think I might be getting nauseous just thinking about this. Just kidding, kind of.

I then began twelve straight weeks of paclitaxel, and boy was I glad I had the “hard stuff” first. Everyone has a different treatment plan, and I’m glad I got the hard part over with first. For me, paclitaxel was a breeze. I did lose a few toenails, and developed neuropathy, but nothing medication and treatments couldn’t help. All of those symptoms have subsided, and my nails are just as before. I got to take a break and enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday and began my radiation treatments in December. Those treatments were every day, for 6 straight weeks. And yes, I drove, or a friend or family member drove me, every day to Houston. Our trip there would take longer than the treatment itself.

I must say, I was really scared of radiation. I remember when I was told that I was going to have radiation, I was very upset. All I had heard or read was about bad cases of radiation. To my surprise it was a breeze. Blessings to my workplace and my co-workers because they allowed me to take off for 6 weeks straight to have those treatments. I offered to come into work after my treatment, but they wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t realize it at the time, but radiation was very draining to me physically. Not until a couple of weeks after I was done with radiation did, I realize, how much more energy I had. I’m sure the traveling took its toll on me as well.

After my chemotherapy treatments and radiation, I had to continue to receive Herceptin through my port every three weeks for a full year. Although my cancer was HER2 negative, it was borderline negative, my doctors wanted to treat me aggressively and I was on board and trusted their expertise. I chose to have those treatments done at a local cancer treatment facility. I was also put on a medication called tamoxifen, which I will continue to take for 10 years.

The one-year mark for Herceptin came around in August 2017 and by September I was getting my port removed. I then scheduled my second reconstruction surgery with my plastic surgeon from MDA.

My only option since I had undergone radiation was to do the Diep-flap procedure. Basically, my doctor used my belly fat and skin to create my new breast. Yes, you read that right, they can do that. That was a long operation, longer than my mastectomy,  I believe it ran 8-10 hours.

I don’t know how the doctors train to do that but it’s a gift I can assure you. I spent a week in the hospital after that surgery to make sure the tissue didn’t die. My husband stayed with me the whole time. We were so ready to get out of there and get home by the end of that week.

I am fortunate that I didn’t have any complications with either surgeries and that I also have a good caretaker in my husband Trey. Olivia was 5 years old by this time, so she became a good helper too.

In October of 2018 I had my last reconstructive surgery. You know plastic surgeons they are perfectionist. This surgery consisted of some liposuction and fat grafting. I went home the same day of surgery.

So here we are, September 2019. I turned 38 years old just a few days ago on the 1st. These last three years have seemed like a lifetime ago. It’s very hard to explain but I guess because it felt like it took forever to get through all the treatments and surgeries.

This has been one of the toughest seasons of my life. It has also been the most humbling experience. My favorite thing about this journey is that my relationship with God has grown more than I ever dreamed of. I don’t blame God for any of my hardships, I look at him and tell him “thank you” for getting me through them. I thank God for my blessings daily. I thank Him for all the hardships and problems that I endured that are now my testimonies. I would like to think that when the time comes, because it will, when Olivia experiences heartbreak or sadness, that I can provide her with some comforting insight and perspective.

Another thing I would like to say is that through my journey, my faith in humanity was restored.

When all the world is caught up in negativity, I received nothing but positive experiences and praises from people.

I’ve had many strangers come up and hug me (a little awkward but endearing). I’ve had my lunch paid for a couple of times by strangers and wait staff. My hometown community and workplace held numerous fundraisers to help with expenses. They picked up the slack when I couldn’t make it to work. Friends and family gathered together and set up a meal plan for weeks on in, so that I didn’t have to worry about cooking or groceries.

All the little things I was so worried about in the beginning of this journey, seemed to work themselves out.

I hope that my journey and experience will be eye opening to others. Cancer does not discriminate. Disease of any kind does not discriminate. You are not invincible. You must be your own advocate. And as mothers, wives, sisters, daughters; we must take care of ourselves so that we can then take care of others. Put yourself first for once and make yourself an appointment. Quit putting off that “pain” you keep feeling. Go with your gut instinct, it’s there for a reason. Have hope, as I can testify, in the end everything will be alright.

My heart is so full, and I feel so loved.

Thank you Jesus.

Hello everyone! My name is Stacie, I’m 34 years old, I’m BRCA2+ and currently fighting Stage3a Triple Negative Breast Cancer. I live in Buffalo, NY with my new husband (we just got married 12/8/2018), our kids & our dogs! I’m a RN & esthetician & currently running my own little eyebrow & lash studio. 

I want to say my story started on 3/28/2019 when my biopsy confirmed cancer, but truthfully it really started in 2009 when I tested positive for the genetic mutation, BRCA2.  I had know my grandmother got breast cancer at a very young age (33) and lived only into early 40s, & my mother had just been diagnosed with Stage2 (triple negative & HER2+) & tested positive for BRCA2, this is when my sister & I were told we needed to test for the mutation as well. I tested positive, my sister tested negative. I was 25 at the time. I did one consult for a prophylactic mastectomy at that time but the surgeon suggested waiting until 30 and reconsidering. At this time the gene was still really just being learned about & prophylactic mastectomies were not done nearly as often as now. So I opted to do surveillance which was a mammo/MRI every 6 months plus monitoring ovaries. I was very good with my monitoring. Despite knowing my risk I still really never felt it could happen to me. That quickly changed in March of 2019!

I was overdue for my annual MRI come March 2019. I was due in November 2018 (last mammo was May 2018) but I was preoccupied with my December wedding & brushed off my regular scans, regretfully. We got married in early December & went Thailand until Christmas Day. By time life seemed to get back to normal it was already March and I knew I needed to be seen. I often felt my breast & had no reason to believe anything was wrong. As the PA was doing my breast exam she kept pushing into one spot, I knew something seemed funny, but I had long time breast implants & sometimes it warranted extra time. Finally the PA asked me if I’d ever felt this “lump” before & my heart sank, I already knew it was cancer, and I was so mad at myself for putting off my scans & thinking “how didn’t I feel this?!” My tumor was flat & laid flat on my implant, it was not a typical round tumor which is likely why I did not feel it on my own. We did a mammogram & ultra sound that day both confirmed suspicion & biopsy was set up for 4 days later. I went in for my biopsy on a Monday & I got the call on Wednesday to come in for results (office rules are no results given over the phone despite my husband calling trying to get results sooner lol!) & was told I’d be seeing the surgeon, which confirmed my suspicion it was cancer. 

That night was very rough. I cried a lot. The next morning my mom & husband both went with me for results. I have never felt anxiety like I did that morning waiting for the dr to come in. It seemed like I waited forever. She finally came in and sat and very calmly told me I had DCIS (ductal carcinoma in-situ) & being a nurse I already knew this was best case scenario with cancer (because it meant it had not spread yet) & I think I almost laughed out loud when she said it out of pure relief it wasn’t anything more. She said due to gene & family history I’d need a non nipple sparing double mastectomy and that it didn’t seem like I’d even need chemo if nothing else popped up! I was so so happy.  I went for my scans which showed no indication that the cancer had spread so we scheduled surgery first then I’d see an oncologist to determine if I’d need further treatment based on surgical pathology. My opening party for my lash & brow studio was set up for the day after my diagnosis, still being a newly wed & with my initial diagnosis being in-situ I was really on cloud 9 still!

My surgery wasn’t scheduled until 7 weeks later. As time went on I kept getting this suspicious feeling something wasn’t right. Toward the last few weeks before surgery I kept telling my family & even my dr that I thought it was spreading to my lymph nodes because I could feel it. I did mention this to my dr but she didn’t seem concerned, as I was told what I was feeling was from the biopsy (& that you can’t feel cancer spreading  but I swear I could so please please please listen to your body…I wish I did!) but I knew it wasn’t. Although they were incredibly understanding, my family grew tired of hearing me obsess about something not being right despite my scans showing the cancer hasn’t spread. I had been known to be a little dramatic in the past so they kinda just thought I was being my typical dramatic self. It was frustrating to me that I felt no one was truly listening my concerns. My friends & my husband threw me a little pre-treatment party & we all wore pink & it was really just a nice time & so thoughtful of them! I’m thankful for them as it helped me feel normal for a night! 

So, fast forward to waking up from my double mastectomy…ALL of my lymph nodes on my cancer side had been removed. This was not the plan UNLESS the cancer had spread. I had expanders placed at this time as well. My suspicions were right and cancer was found in my lymph nodes & I would not know my pathology until 2 weeks post op. I had 3 JP drains & one incision across each breast where my nippples were & one incision under each arm. I was surprised how quickly I was able to physically recover from the surgery. The drains were definitely the worst part! Mentally, I was not well because I had to wait on the pathology & at this point I was worried I was stage 4. 

I went in for pathology & was told 2 lymph nodes tested positive (I was so relieved only 2!) & that the cancer was triple negative. Triple negative Breast cancer is particularly aggressive, uncommon,& does not currently have a targeted treatment…ouch. In addition to it being TNBC & due to my age & genetics I’d need to be treated aggressively. A few days later I met my oncologist who gave final diagnosis of Stage 3a TNBC & within a week from meeting him (just shy of 4 weeks post op) I had my port placed and started chemo. Biopsies only capture a small portion of the big picture & unfortunately in my situation it didn’t capture my full situation. I was also told due to the flat & odd shape of my tumor & how it laid on implant I just unfortunately had an uncommon situation. Talk about turn of events! 

 My treatment plan: 20 rounds of chemo -4 AC then 16 taxol with carboplatin every 3rd infusion. Carboplatin is a chemo drug that is being used in clinical trials & showing promise for reducing reoccurrence for patients with gene & TNBC (I believe it’s for both but I could be mistaken) but it is hard on blood counts. I will then have 30 rounds of radiation to my chest wall & under arm followed  by surgery to finish up my reconstruction. 

I’ve always had LONG hair, I knew losing it would be tough (my oncologist didn’t seem keen on cold capping with my type of cancer and losing my hair really didn’t seem so important anymore). I decided to cut it into a short bob (something I’d never usually do) which I actually loved!  Before my second infusion I started to lose my hair so we decided to have a head shaving party. It actually wasn’t much of a party it was mostly just my husbands friends agreeing to let me shave their head & even their eyebrows! Then my husband shaved mine last. We did it live on Facebook and ended up with over 3k views. It was actually a good time and I’m glad I did it that way. I hope I was able to somehow inspire other women, or just even one woman would be enough to make it all worth it. I don’t really ever go around bald, I still struggle with it so I usually wear one of my wigs with a baseball cap. It’s been fun trying new color hair but I’m usually too exhausted to get out and do much. I’m currently on chemo number 7 & I have been delayed 2 days total due to having critically low white blood counts & being neutropenic. I’m hopeful due to my age & being generally healthy we will be able to get through the entire treatment as planned. 

As far as my prognosis goes, if all treatment is completed & nothing new pops up I have 22% chance of it returning within 3 years. After 3 years the rate drops to around 11%. After ten years I’ll be cured. I keep telling myself that I have almost 80% of it NOT coming back. I eat healthy & am much more aware of what goes into my body. And even if it does my oncologist said TNBC is currently being studied the most out of all types of breast cancer right now due to lack of targeted treatments & aggressiveness so hopefully if it does return there is something new in the works! I recently had a scan show a non specific lymph node in my abdomen which usually in non cancer patients wouldn’t be a concern, but with my diagnosis it’s recommended to do a follow up scan in 6 months. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared but for now I’m just trying to enjoy the days I feel good with my hubby, kids, family & friends. I feel like I have learned so much about life in these last few months than I have in my previous 34 years! The kindness & love that I’ve been shown throughout this, from family, friends & even strangers, is heartwarming. My husband has been my lifesaver and I couldn’t get through this without him (although it does get hard at times facing something so stressful & scary!).  My son insisted on coloring his hair pink to show his support (he’s 12)& our dogs tails are pet friendly dyed pink too! This is something I never thought I would be able to get through but I’m proving to myself that I’m stronger than I ever imagined. 

I learned a very hard lesson about putting things off when it comes to my health. Maybe if I went for my MRI when I was due things could’ve been different & maybe not have spread. On the other hand maybe it would’ve been too small to show up yet…I’ll never know! But I refuse to dwell on it and only move forward being more of an advocate for myself & not being scared to speak up if I feel something isn’t right. I feel very involved in my chemo treatment plan as well as my reconstruction & that makes me feel much more confident & secure in my path! 

Triple negative BC is being found more & more in young premenopausal women under 40 & in African American women. When combined with a premenopausal diagnosis & the BRCA gene it tends to be extremely aggressive. I encourage any woman who has the gene to explore prophylactic options. My reconstruction really looks incredible so far (as it is understandable that physical appearance of breast at a young age is of concern) & the surgery is becoming more common with more advanced techniques coming out! 

I have found support groups on social media to particularly helpful, especially those for younger women & talking to other survivors have helped so much too! And that is exactly why I’m sharing my story with all of you! 

From the girl who lost her ponytail….

Hi! My name is Steffanie, I am a single mom of my totally amazing 12-year-old daughter. We have two English bulldogs named Bruce (8yrs) and Elliot (1.5yrs).  I grew up in East Tennessee in a little town called Seymour. I attended the University of Tennessee where I graduated with a Nursing degree in 2004. I then moved to the Nashville area to pursue my career in anesthesia and graduated in 2011 from Middle Tennessee School of Anesthesia!

In January of 2017, I became the black sheep of the family by being the first person in my family to be diagnosed with cancer.  I was 36 years old and had no family history of cancer so breast examines weren’t really on my radar. I would do them here and there but not routine. I was a healthy 36-year-old with zero family history… I couldn’t get cancer!  WRONG.

Rewind to December of 2011 while studying for my anesthesia boards, I found a lump on my left upper breast. I followed up with a surgeon, DR. Lisa White, from where I would be working starting in January. She ordered an ultrasound and it came back as a fibroadenoma, a benign mass. I chose to have it removed anyways just a few days before I took boards. Crazy right?! But I wanted peace of mind that sucker was out of my body. All came back clear with the pathology…whew.

Fast forward to the fall of 2016…I always would feel around where my scar from the fibroadenoma was just out of habit. Well I noticed the tissue in that area getting harder. So I kept an eye on it and did examines every week to monitor change. It stayed just a hard, dense, band of tissue for a month or two but by the end of November/early December it was a lump. So, I called Dr. White and said hey I think that fibroadenoma is back, there is a lump about an inch or two away from the last spot, I want it out again. So, she ordered an ultrasound for December 19^thand then I immediately met with he afterwards. She said “Steff, this looks funny, not like a fibroadenoma, I am concerned about it, let’s biopsy it.”  Great, I am thinking. Mind you I took my daughter, who was 9 at the time, with me. So, we scheduled the surgery but it is January 9th before we could get a spot because anybody who works in the OR knows getting on the schedule at the end of the year is a nightmare, even if you have connections.

Well since it’s the holidays I decided to travel over to East TN to visit family. I kept all this on the downlow except for my sis in law who happens to be my best friend too. No sense in worrying everyone right!  2 weeks go by and I am sitting on the couch the Friday before my scheduled surgery, I feel the mass again. It has changed from a hard, dense lumpy mass into a rock in a matter of a week. I knew at that moment it was CANCER, this was the “marble” everyone talks about finding. Now we also were experiencing an ice storm here in middle Tennessee and I thought to myself, “if I can’t get to the hospital on Monday, come hell or high water, I will cut this thing out myself”. That’s how sure I was.

So Monday comes and I have my biopsy. I am glad we had the option to do this in the OR because I wanted the whole thing out! The great thing about my job is I can handpick who is in my OR room to take care of me. The bad thing is those people actually give a damn about me and when Dr. White returned back from the path lab in tears and had to tell everyone in there it was cancer, the whole room sunk. I don’t cry much but typing this makes me a little tearful. So she tells me after surgery it’s cancer, but I simply said I was expecting this report. She said the margins were clear which meant they got all the tumor out of my body, and it was less than 1cm in size! But hey, I am tough, healthy, young, I got this! Let’s slay this tumor and move on.  I go pick my kiddo up from school that afternoon and she asks “well is it a good bump or a bad bump mom?” I said kiddo, it’s a bad bump, but its gonna be ok. Staying strong for her was the only mission I had during this, if I broke, she broke. That wasn’t going to happen.

January 19th I am out running errands at Target and get a call from Dr. White.  “Hey Steff, I got your final path back, are you where you can talk?”  yep I am at Target, go for it, “well it came back Stage 1, but all the hormone receptors are negative..” ok, what does that mean? “that means it is TRIPLE NEGATIVE BREAST CANCER, but we caught it early”.  My world then changed and in the middle of the target line, I said “F#%&,, that means I have to do chemo”. So from that point on, slaying this tumor wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought. This was a game changer. The hardest part was telling my kiddo I had to do chemo now. For the first time I cried. It was just us, how was I going to do this. She can’t watch her mom wither away and die in a hospital bed. Luckily, she is a strong little warrior like myself and was up for the battle. Honestly, she was most bummed that our family sailing trip had to get postponed, but I mean who wouldn’t be bummed about that! So, January 25th I got my port placed for the chemo to get infused thru and my sentinel node biopsy, which came back negative yippee! Then on Wednesday February 1, I started chemo with my fabulous oncologist Dr. Gian. My besties Brooke and Jen from nursing school took me to my chemos and took such wonderful care of me. So many friends and family sent meals and gifts for us, it was truly a blessing. To all the random people out their who paid for groceries, ice cream, or meals while eating out, Thank you!

I did chemo every other week for 4 months. I tried doing the cold caps to save my hair but they didn’t work for me. By week 3 it was so thin and my scalp hurt so bad I had to shave it. After hours of procrastinating it. It finally happened. Ahhh what sweet relief. And let’s talk about how easy it was to get ready now! I am not going to lie, it was hard to let go of my hair, it sucked, I cried more over that than the actual cancer diagnosis. Stupid right, but I did. But once it was off, I was ok with it, I was now in warrior mode. I chose not to wear a wig, they are hot, itchy, and uncomfortable. Oh, and my daughter hated them lol, she said mom you look better bald, you look like you. So, I wore some toboggans and ball caps out and about and was a bald conehead at home. I have to wear a surgical cap at work in the OR so I didn’t have to worry about work life. Honestly losing my eyelashes and brows was harder on my look than my head hair, let’s face it there are some badass sexy bald women out there! But no lashes and no brows was a rough look for me.  May 18th was my last round of chemo and the peach fuzz was already starting to sprout on my head. So glad to be done with the poison that saved my life.  It wasn’t a bad as I anticipated it to be. My side effects were minimal, I was able to work 3 days a week throughout treatment. Minus a setback of double pneumonia around week 10 it went as smooth as I could have needed it to go.

Typically, chemo is done before surgery with triple negative breast cancer because of its aggressive nature. It wants to destroy its host as fast and quickly as it can, getting systemic chemo in asap is key. Luckily my pre and post chemo PET scans and MRI’s were clear and unchanged so I felt a little at ease.  On June 29th I had a double mastectomy with reconstruction. Dr. Lisa white and Dr. Nick Tarola were my surgeons. The surgery took about 7 hours. I did nipple sparing and went straight to implants, bypassing the expander process, so it took a little longer than most of these surgeries. The recovery wasn’t too bad. The weight lifting restrictions were the hardest part. You feel good so you have to remind yourself you just had a major surgery and can’t just jump right back in the game of life.

Shortly after my surgery I was able to meet a young patient of mine who was going thru the same thing and getting her port put in. I gave her my contact info and we stayed in touch, soon thereafter another young woman reached out on facebook to me, she was a friend of a friend. We all met up one night for dinner and were like instant sisters. Still 2 years later we talk and hang out, we do cancer retreats, fundraisers, and benefits together. This ugly seed was planted in all 3 of us yet we grew this amazing friendship out of it. So find someone to help you thru this! Reach out to Middle Tennessee Breasties on FB, we are a group of young survivors to help each other out and we meet up as well!

My genetic testing showed that I was BRCA 2 positive. This is a genetic mutation on a certain gene that puts me at a slightly higher risk for other cancers. Basically, the gene that should help protect me from breast cancer is a bit deformed and doesn’t function like it should. Because of this I opted to do a Total Robotic Hysterectomy with Dr. Chesney in November of 2017. This surgery was a breeze! Man, what technology we have these days. This was a peace of mind not to have to worry about what the organs in my body that are high risk are doing without me being able to detect it until its too late.

It’s been 2 years now post treatment and 2.5 since diagnosis. Life is good, I feel like my past is a little surreal. Besides the scars, some joint pain, and some chemo brain moments (which is equivalent to placenta brain lol) I feel the same as before. Is there ever a day I wake up and don’t think about what I have been thru?, nope. Everyday I think about it, how lucky I was, and the alternatives. You can’t let every little abnormal thing on your body get to you or you will drive yourself mad. The mental game during and after this disease is the majority of the battle. Keep a strong mind and you will battle this more victorious than with a dark mind.  This is coming from a glass half empty chick here, I work in medicine, I am a logical, realistic person and know what goes down. So for me to say keep the darkness out and break the thought process cycle is huge. Cancer wants to destroy you and your life. Don’t let it. I don’t care if you have 2 weeks to live or 60 years to live.. my message is GO LIVE YOUR LIFE! Do it while you can, don’t stop. If you stop to play the “I can’t ”game then you let the cancer get what it seeks- destruction and despair. It may/will beat you down physically but stay ahead of it mentally. Mentality gets you further in life anyhow am I right?!😊   So say tata to cancer my friends!!!

My name is Callie, I have been married to my husband, Scott for 14 years. I have two amazing stepsons (17 &18) and a beautiful 13 year old daughter. My husband has been in the Army for 15 years. We are from the middle Tennessee area, we lived in San Diego when I was diagnosed.

Sometime in late 2016, at age 31 I found a lump in my left breast, I was always good about doing monthly self checks, I don’t know how I missed it before then. 

     The lump didn’t feel like what I thought cancer would feel like, it wasn’t like a marble or grape, It was more of a, flat on the bottom, movable lump. I scheduled a well woman’s exam with my primary care doctor immediately, which I rescheduled two times. I am so thankful that although my doctor didn’t think it was anything serious, she wanted to be sure. I was scheduled for a mammogram and ultrasound.

     February 3rd, 2017 my husband and I headed to the radiology clinic. I was so scared; I am thankful that my husband was allowed to be with me during the ultrasound. Three days later my doctor called and said  they wanted to do a biopsy. She reassured me that it was still probably nothing. I Recently read my ultrasound results that read: Highest Probability of malignancy. The morning of the biopsy, I felt sick. I am so thankful the staff allowed my husband to be in the room for the procedure. I cried before it even started. I wasn’t worried about the pain of the procedure I just knew it was cancer, I even told my husband that I felt like the doctor doing the biopsy thought it was cancer because of things she said to me. The doctor said my results should be back in 3 days, I called my primary care doctor and scheduled an appointment to get my results. I didn’t want to get that kind of news over the phone. The next few days were a blur.  

   Finally on February 17, 2017 at 5:30pm my husband and I sat waiting for the doctor to come in. I know my doctor dreaded telling me the news. It took forever for her to come in the room, She cried as she said, “it’s cancer, you’re young and we need to hit it hard.” I didn’t even cry. I immediately started planning. I knew we needed to try to get closer to home. When we got home we had to tell our daughter. She was 10 years old at the time. The moment I told her, I saw the innocence within her disappear. Telling our children was the hardest part of this entire journey. 

    The next few weeks were filled with more mammograms, ultrasounds, MRI’s, genetic testing and meeting the surgical oncologist. During all this testing, my husband was submitting paperwork to have us Compassionately Reassigned to Fort Campbell, Kentucky, one hour from our home town. While we waited on an answer from the Army, we had to keep moving forward with my treatment. 

On March 23, 2017 I had a lumpectomy on my left breast and eight lymph nodes removed. The tumor was larger than originally thought, but thankfully my lymph nodes were clear and my amazing surgeon at University of California, San Diego, Dr Sarah Blair was able to get clear margins. I was then officially diagnosed with ER+ PR+ HER2- Stage II Grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma. After I healed from my surgery, I met with my oncologist to discuss the next steps: chemo, radiation, and beyond. At this point, we were still waiting on an answer from the Army but knew we were also running out of time. There were only so many weeks I could wait after surgery to start chemo. 

   Finally, six weeks after surgery and 2.5 months after my diagnosis, the Army approved a Compassionate Reassignment and within two weeks we were moving back across the country to Fort Campbell, Kentucky. One week after arriving back in Tennessee/Kentucky, I started my first round of chemotherapy. 

   I received 4 rounds of TC chemotherapy (Taxotere & cyclophosphamide). My first treatment was frightening. I felt like I was just waiting on the side effects to start and I didn’t event really know what to expect. Two weeks after my first treatment my hair started falling out by the handfuls. After putting off the inevitable for days I told my husband that I was ready for him to shave my head. I didn’t want to go to a salon and be told how brave I was, I wasn’t shaving my head because I was brave, I was doing it because I had no choice. I told my husband not to stop no matter how much I cried. We both cried as my hair fell to the floor, it that moment it became real, I was now a cancer patient. 

   I am thankful for the medication given with chemo to control the side effects. I was given Neulasta 24 hours after every infusion and it was the worst! My body hurt so bad and I ran a fever every time. It was worth the pain because it kept my counts up and my chemo infusions on schedule. 

   After chemo I did 30 rounds of radiation. My skin was blistered and peeling off by the end. My mind and body were ready to be done.

   I will be cancer free, two years on October 1st. I will continue taking Tamoxifen for the next 8 years. I still battle side effects from my treatment and the hormonal therapy that I continue to take, but it is all worth it. I have no doubt that a positive attitude got me through some tough days. “Fake it ’til you make it,” was my motto.

   I am forever grateful for my husband, children, and the Lord for getting me through the tough times. My husband was by my side at every appointment because of his fellow soldiers and leaders at Fort Campbell that made sure he could be with me. 

My story started when I noticed a breast lump in April 2018.  At that time I thought it was just a cyst from my cycle since I had one in the past but when it was still there in May I made an appointment with my Ob/Gyn. She said 90% of the lumps she sees are benign so I wasn’t too worried. She sent me for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound that same day. I didn’t think I would get any results that day so I went by myself…turns out that was a BIG mistake. When the radiologist came in after the tests I could tell by the look on his face that I should be worried. He told me I needed a biopsy because he couldn’t rule out cancer from what he saw and that I also had concerning calcifications in my other breast so he wanted me to have both breasts biopsied. While the radiologist did not have any bed-side manner, there was thankfully an ultrasound technician there who comforted me as I proceeded to have a panic attack.

The biopsy was scheduled for May 14th and when my OB called on the 16th to give me the results, I was not surprised when she confirmed it was cancer. The “good news” was that it was only malignant in one breast. Her next comment was, yes that is good news but I would still recommend a double mastectomy. That was the last conversation I have ever had with her as I didn’t believe she should be making that recommendation. Thankfully, God had just placed me at Tennessee Oncology in April as a pharmacy technician at Park Pharmacy. My boss referred me to an oncologist and I met with her the following week. My cancer was triple positive; both hormone receptors were positive as well as being Her 2 positive. After the MRI confirmed the cancer had not spread (Praise GOD) and was not in my lymph nodes, we decided to do chemo first to shrink the tumor and then a lumpectomy and radiation. Further testing revealed I do not carry the breast cancer gene.

Every prayer I sent up during this first scary month of unknowns was answered. I prayed for the calcifications to be benign, answered. I prayed for negative lymph node, answered.  I prayed to have a better understanding of the triple positive cancer from my oncologist, answered.

I had 6 cycles of chemo that consisted of 4 different IV medications. Getting through those first 6 treatments was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There were days when I could barely make it up the stairs in my house. The fatigue is no joke, but God brought me through those horrible days and I know I’m stronger because of it. My white blood cell count stayed high enough so I didn’t have to postpone any treatments. I still thank God for that every day. I’m a type A personality, so I wanted to stay on course and finish the hardest treatments as soon as possible. After those 6 were complete, I had to have IV Herceptin for 1 year to treat the Her 2 positive. What a difference that was from the first 6 cycles! The only side effect I had was hot flashes. My hair started to grow back and I felt so much better.

I had my lumpectomy in November, but they didn’t get clear margins on one side so my surgeon had to go back in and take out more tissue. On December 18th I was finally cancer free!! Hearing those words after 7 months of hell was amazing! I give God all the glory for bringing me through this diagnosis. He answered every prayer I had.
After radiation, I decided to have a hysterectomy rather than Lupron shots and tamoxifen and I’m so glad I did. I spent one night in the hospital and one week at home before I was back to work and feeling great. I finished my Herceptin on May 24th and was finally able to ring the chemo bell!

With God all things are possible and this past year has proven that over and over again. God placed so many amazing people in my life to support me on this journey. My husband, family and friends have been by my side and helped me with anything I needed. They kept me lifted daily and always made sure I was never alone. I thank God every day for this second chance at life and will never take it for granted.

Hi! My name is Meghan Pegram. I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer at 28 years old, just 10 days after getting engaged…

I first felt my lump in the shower. It felt like a marble. It was perfectly round and hard as a rock. I honestly didn’t think too much about it. Later that week, I asked Tj if he felt it. When he touched it, I yanked back! It hurt so bad! It felt like a deep bruise. I called my OBGYN, but she was booked for a couple of months. Instead they sent me to a Nurse Practitioner. She also felt the lump and sent me to get a mammogram. I remember thinking this was not anything serious. I just assumed they could remove the lump and I go on with my life, after all I had a wedding to plan!

My doctors did not believe it was cancer. They said I was “too young” for cancer. (insert eye roll) Tj and I had a trip planned to Italy to visit my parents in a week. My doctor told me not to worry and that we would figure this out when we came back. We went ahead and scheduled a biopsy for the following Monday after we returned. We stayed in Italy for 10 days and Tj proposed on day 7 in my favorite city, Cinque Terre! 

Of course I was freaking out. It was a dream! My lump was the last thing on my mind. I was so focused on everything wedding! Looking back, I now thank my doctor for letting me to go Italy and cherish that happy time all before cancer. 

We returned on Saturday and had a biopsy set for Monday. I was still so oblivious to what was happening. Tj went with me as we showed off my ring and pictures to the nurses. We were still on cloud nine from just getting engaged and there was no way some lump was going to stop me. (or so I thought) 

The next day I had a phone call from my doctor. I will never forget this moment. I was out painting the house with my future MIL. (my fiancé and I just bought a fixer upper so she was helping me while he was at work) I got down off of the ladder and I heard my doctor’s voice. He asked me if I was home and if I was alone. Then, I heard it in his voice. I knew something terrible was coming. I remember hearing him say,  “You have cancer.” 

I didn’t cry. It was really weird. I grabbed a notebook and began writing (must be the teacher in me) I wrote down words like “oncologist”, “inductive carcinoma”, and “double mastectomy”. I was so clueless and so scared. I immediately called Tj. This is where I lost it. I started sobbing. I could tell he was also freaking out, but he did a very good job of hiding it to keep me strong. He said he would there as soon as he could and he raced home. I hung up the phone and went outside and told Judy. I was praying this was all a bad dream! This could not be happening! We seriously just got engaged!! This was supposed to be the happiest time of our lives! I was freaking out inside, but I decided to keep painting. And praying. I was painting and praying like crazy until Tj pulled in the driveway.

He ran over to me and just held me. I fell into his arms and got a really good cry out. He cried too, but then he looked at me straight on and said, “We’ve got this!” I can’t explain how good this felt. Something about what he said made me I believe him. We did have this! 

At my first oncologist appointment, Dr. Giantold me I would absolutely need chemo. He told Tj and I all about Triple Negative Breast Cancer as we nervously scribbled down every detail in a notebook. He told us how aggressive it is and he stressed the urgency of starting treatments ASAP. I naïvely asked about losing my hair. He told me I would lose it and it would happen by week two. He was so confident it was going to happen and that is when it hit me. I have cancer and I was going to be bald. 

Anyone that knew me before cancer knew that my hair was a HUGE part of me. Literally. I had the most thick and ridiculously curly hair. I was so scared but instead of letting chemo take my hair from me, I decided to donate it to Wigs4Kids. 

If you are not familiar with this program, it is amazing!! They make and DONATE wigs to children battling cancer. I was floored when I found out that some companies actually charge for wigs! 

My hair was one part of my cancer journey that I could control. Also, knowing that my hair (it seriously probably made 2 wigs) went to some precious little kiddos with cancer made losing my hair SO much easier! Not to mention I thought I looked pretty badass with a shaved head. 

A couple days before my first chemo treatment, I started thinking about how chemo would affect my fertility. My mind was overflowing! I had so much to think about and I had so many questions! The next day, I called Nashville Fertility and scheduled an appointment. They were amazing and understood the urgency of everything I was about to go through. They started me on hormone treatments right away. I went through 10 nights of injections, an egg retrieval surgery, and I was able to harvest 16 eggs!! Tj and I were so excited! Now that we safely had our future babies in the freezer, I was ready to begin my fight. 

I underwent 4 rounds of AC (red devil), 2 rounds of taxol and 2 rounds of taxotere. (turnsout I was allergic to taxol) 

On January 8th I had my double mastectomy. Unfortunately, during surgery they still found a small bit of cancer. Meaning I did not have a complete response to my chemo. Dr. Gian said it was a TINY amount. Regardless of the size, it was STILL cancer. I wanted it out! All of it!

Dr. Gian suggested that I also complete 28 rounds of radiation as a preventative measure and I agreed. I wanted to be able to say I did EVERYTHING in my power to ensure this cancer NEVER comes back! My plastic surgeon wanted me to keep my expanders throughout radiation. He over filled my right foob by 50 cc. He said the skin on the radiated side would be much tighter after radiation and he wanted them to be as natural as they could. 

Six months after radiation, (which seemed like forever) I had my exchange surgery for my soft girls. Man was Dr. Medling right. My radiated side is MUCH TIGHTER than my left. My foobs aren’t perfect, but they are pretty dang close! I definitely miss having feeling in them and sometimes I even miss my nipples, but when I look in the mirror I try to remember what my body went through. My scars tell my story. I fought hard and I survived. 

Today I am about to celebrate my 2-year cancer free anniversary and I cannot tell you how good it feels!! My advice to those battling cancer is to stay strong mentally and keep your faith. Cancer can be very dark, but the more you focus on that light the easier your journey will be. I always say staying strong mentally is over half the battle. 

Also, I highly suggest you find other survivors or “breasties” to vent, talk, cry, and drink margaritas with. 

I heard this quote at YSC Summit last year and I absolutely love it. 

“The initiation sucks, but the sisterhood is forever.” Keep thriving sisters!

I created an amazon list of everything I used during treatment both chemo and surgery. Hopefully this helps! 

http://a.co/bSDwLAH

“I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me” Philippians 4:13

Hi! My name is Casey. I had Stage 2B Breast Cancer Hormone receptor (HR) Negative. I noticed my nipple was inverted last year (2018), and thought it was nothing. I didn’t have insurance, and put it off. Then I noticed it just kept sinking in, and also felt a small ball behind my nipple that I could almost grab.  I went to the Planned Parenthood and the Dr. did a “feel test” and felt what I felt. She told me to go straight to get a mammogram. I couldn’t get in until a week later. A week after that I had to get a biopsy. And the week after that, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

When we were told that I needed a biopsy, they kind prepared us for the worst- Cancer. I knew in my heart that I had Cancer. My family is in Oklahoma, and I live in Texas,  so I called them and told them about the biopsy …and we all waited together until the day I found out it was in fact Cancer.

From the biopsy, to scans of my heart, full body, brain, and bones…they found out it was an aggressive form, and wanted to start Chemo right away. I did 4 rounds of the red devil(AC), and continued every 2 weeks- totaling 28 rounds. Followed by a double mastectomy, with expanders and then radiation. I still have reconstructive surgery left.

Something that surprised me about treatment is that, not everyone’s body reacts the same way to treatment. And  what might have worked for someone else, might not work for you.

If I could give one advice to someone going through cancer/cancer treatments, it is to listen to your body and don’t be afraid to tell the doctor’s when something doesn’t feel “right.”

If you are going through chemo , sleep when you can. Rest. rest. rest. And stay away from germs, wash your hands and don’t put your hands to your face. And drink a beer or 2 when you feel good enough to do so!

If you have to have radiation, keep the area moisturized at ALL TIMES and cover with a pad. If you don’t have a pad that the doctor provides, than use a women’s menstrual pads.  The bigger -the cheaper– the better.

To deal with the emotional side, Cry. Cry whenever you want to. Let it allllll out when you feel the need. There are no rules to getting through Cancer. I would cry, pray, drink a beer, and sing. I am singer and would just sing whatever I could find on YouTube……cry and sing.

Celebrate the small victories. Even when you don’t think treatment is making a difference, and you are exhausted from it all.  God has you in every step. And the small steps—they still move you forward.

My Mantra was “Power On, Power Through.”

Hi there, my name is Jess McDonald and I’m from New York. Normally when I tell someone I am from New York, they think NYC, but we actually live about 5 hours from Manhattan in a very rural area of the state referred to as the Finger Lakes, well known for our wine industry. My story starts on New Year’s Day 2018. I was home alone with my two children (then 3 and 8 months old) when I ran upstairs to put a bra on. I got to the first landing of our stairs and to this day, I have no real reason why, but I happened to touch the left side of my breast where I found a small hard lump and thought to myself “hmm, that wasn’t there before.” Since I had just had my son that April, I had recently had a breast exam in September where I had no abnormal findings and was sent on my way. After finding the lump I instantly panicked and sent a text to my husband, who had run out quickly. When he came home, I made him feel the lump just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it. He too felt the same lump I had felt, we both agreed the next day I would call my midwife. I like many women who have shared their story here was not expecting much to come from it. I was only 33 at the time, and had no family history of breast cancer.

The following day, I returned to work, went about my day, putting off the call. My husband texted me to ask if I had made an appointment. I decided I probably should get it out of the way so I called my midwife’s office. My midwife was unavailable, but another provider was able to get me in that afternoon. At the appointment, the provider suggested a quick breast exam to confirm there was a lump, when her exam led her to the area, her face instantly drained white, and our casual conversation turned, it was at that moment I knew in my heart something wasn’t right. She suggested I be seen for a mammogram and ultrasound as soon as possible and I was able to schedule an appointment the following day.

My ultrasound was determined to be suspicious and I was scheduled for a follow up biopsy. The day of my biopsy came and I met with Dr. O’Connell. She entered the room with so much energy, a thick English accent, and a striking resemblance to one of my husband’s aunts. I thought to myself, “maybe this will be all right!” Dr. O’Connell completed the biopsy and told me I would receive results in a few days. Those few days were hard, I returned to work, but I am pretty sure I just stared at my computer until my phone rang on January 11, 2018. Dr. O’Connell was short and to the point, she told me I had infiltrating ductal carcinoma, it was ER/PR+ Her2-. For whatever reason, I stayed calm throughout the call. She told me that it was highly treatable and gave me some sound advice that I carried throughout my treatment. She said, “whatever they ask you to do, you do it!” Dr. O’Connell asked me where I would like to receive treatment and I remember saying to her, “I have no idea, I don’t know anyone who has had breast cancer!” Dr. O’Connell referred me to the Pluta Cancer Center. At that point, I collected my things and left work. I drove straight home and spent what feels like an eternity on the phone making and receiving calls. In the 20 minutes it took me to get home from work, Pluta had already called me and started coordinating  my appointments. By the end of the day, I had scheduled with my breast surgeon, Dr. Farkas, I had made arrangements to have a follow up MRI to ensure that cancer had not spread outside of the area we knew about and I had let my parents, siblings and in-laws know.  I unfortunately was diagnosed on my sister’s birthday and had to share the news with her that day. Those few days following diagnosis were a whirlwind, I cried for a good 3 days straight. Waiting for the staging and progression of your disease is unbearable, so much fear and doubt can take over your mind. After a few days of feeling sorry for myself, I picked myself up and told myself whether I had 3 days to live or 30 years, I wasn’t going to spend another second mourning and was going to live my life as if I had never heard the words “You have cancer.”

Sometime in late January I met with Dr. Farkas at Pluta. Dr. Farkas was everything I needed and more to start my cancer journey, she was just a few years older than me, in fact if we grew up in the same town, we probably would have been in high school together. She was a ball of energy and sarcasm. She met me with a few curse words, a lot of humor and a very hilarious drawing of what my cancer looked like. The location and aggressiveness of my cancer prevented her from advising me to have a lumpectomy, the outcome of a lumpectomy would leave me looking like I was bit by a shark. I was okay with this as I had made my mind up as soon as I was diagnosed that I wanted a bilateral mastectomy.  My first set of breasts were trying to kill me, why would I fight to keep them. Once that was out of the way, Dr. Farkas reviewed my options for implants or for a procedure called diep flap, this was a procedure where they would remove my own tissue to recreate my breasts. Because I had two children, stretch marks and a couple extra pounds from my pregnancy, I agreed that diep flap would be my best option. Dr. Farkas gave me the information for Dr. Vega and encouraged me to see him and get on his schedule for surgery. Dr. Farkas thought chemotherapy would likely be avoided and at most, I would require radiation after surgery. Because of my age and non-existent family history of breast cancer, she urged me to speak with a genetic counselor and opt for testing to rule out any predispositions. I left that appointment feeling hopeful.

I got home and scheduled an appointment with Dr. Vega and with the Genetics Department at UR Medicine. I met with Genetics and agreed to testing. My results were to be in anywhere from 1-4 weeks later. I met with Dr. Vega and he believed me to be a great candidate for diep flap as well as a nipple sparing procedure! By this time, we were fast approaching my son’s first birthday. Because I had chose the diep flap procedure, my recovery would be a bit longer due to the incision in my belly where they would take the tissue from. Not only would I be recovering from a bilateral mastectomy, but also a tummy tuck! Dr. Vega is one of the only providers in Rochester who was offering this procedure, so as you can imagine, his schedule was jam packed. When finalizing that I would be moving forward with this procedure, Dr. Vega requested I get on the schedule while I was sitting in his office, his nurse ran off to get the next available date and came back with March 29th, 11 days before my baby boy’s 1st birthday, I burst in to tears! Dr. Vega instantly recognized something was wrong and I explained that I had really hoped to be able to hold my son’s birthday cake. Dr. Vega’s team agreed this was absolutely necessary, so his team did everything in their power to get me a better date. This was no easy task as my surgery was expected to be no shorter than 6 hours, but they did it. They scheduled me for March 6th. I remember Dr. Vega saying, “You may want to order a small cake.” And guess what, you better believe I held that birthday cake!

As March 6th approached, the genetic testing fell to the back of my mind, I was operating under the assumption that “no news is good news.” I arrived at the hospital the day of my surgery and was met by Dr. Farkas, she quickly reviewed the procedure and then dropped the bomb on me, my test results were back, not only was I found to carry the BRCA2 mutation, but I also  carry of the CHEK2 mutation. My anesthesiologist was there in the room with me when Dr. Farkas broke the news to me, to this day, I’m confident my anesthesiologist knocked me out immediately following the news as I don’t remember anything from that point on.

Twelve hours later, I woke in the recovery room and was transferred to my room where I would stay for 3 days to be monitored for tissue failure and blood clots. On the second day of my stay, Dr. Farkas came to let me know that they had removed somewhere around 38 lymph nodes  and that only 1 tested positive. She also let me know my cancer was Stage 2b and that she had scheduled me to see an Oncologist, Dr. Huston.   On the 3rd day, I was released home. I really only remember being in bed at home for a few days. I hated the pain meds, they made me feel spacey and lethargic, so I quit taking them and opted for regular OTC medications. I found that being upright and walking made me feel better than any of the medications.

My anticipated time home for the surgery was 8-10 weeks, I returned to work early after 5 weeks home. During those 5 weeks home, I learned that because of the BRCA mutation, the aggressiveness of the cancer and the lymph involvement, I would require chemotherapy after all. I received 8 rounds of treatment alternating every other week. I completed 4 rounds of AC and 4 rounds of Taxol. Chemo definitely wasn’t a walk in the park, but it also was nothing like I expected. I worked throughout treatment, only missing chemo days. I had this expectation that chemo was going to make me deathly ill, but it didn’t, I just felt tired and often had a really weird taste in my mouth. The hardest part of chemo was the fear of losing my hair, my hair has always been a part of my identity, one of my girlfriend’s often referred to it as my “Shakira hair.”  By the time I started losing my hair, I was ready for it to go, what they don’t tell you about hair loss during chemo, or at least my experience with it is that my hair texture completing changed, it didn’t feel like mine at all, I was ready to shave it, so my husband and I decided to do just that somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd treatment of AC. I have been cutting my husband’s hair for years, and to have him return the favor was a laughable experience.   I survived off my weekly, if not daily check in with Laura, I was one week ahead of her in treatment, so we often found comfort in exchanging words of encouragement and advice. The perk of being across the country from someone else going through treatment, is that their provider may make suggestions yours didn’t and vice versa. I also connected with two women close to home that had been diagnosed in their early 30’s and they were available 24/7 for all of my crazy questions, daily revelations, or just to  have a good laugh about losing your hair.

Following chemo, I underwent 26 rounds of radiation. Because of the location of my tumor, I had to receive a specialized treatment, called deep inspiration breath hold. This threw a real wrench in my plan as I had hoped to do radiation close to home. There was only one treatment center in my area at the time that offered this treatment, and it was nearly a 50 mile trip each way. The drive albeit annoying, did serve as a quiet time for reflection. I drove myself to and from each treatment and returned to work immediately afterward. Working through treatment made me feel normal. I also conserved my time off from work so that I could spend it on things I wanted to do like vacationing at the beach.

Since wrapping my treatment, I have opted for additional follow up care that will hopefully decrease my risk for recurrence. I take a daily medication, Aromasin and am part of a drug study where I take an additional drug that could be the medication, Everolimus or a placebo. We are pretty confident that I am on the med as I am experiencing a lot of side effects. In December, I underwent a total laparoscopic hysterectomy to permanently shut down my estrogen production, this choice was a little extreme, but it was the right choice for me. On the day of my surgery, my husband again sat in the waiting room, like he had done so many times before during treatment and appointments. We looked forward to this day as it really signified the final stretch of what felt like a marathon of a year, as he waited patiently for me to recover, he sat near another husband, his wife was just starting her cancer journey, with my same surgery team. When my husband shared that story with me the next day, I couldn’t help to think just how far we had come. I say this a lot, and it might sound crazy, but cancer took a lot from me over the last year and  a half, but it also gave me  a new perspective on life, a few lifelong friends and the opportunity to share my story in the hopes that it helps someone else. If I can offer you any advice at all to get through this diagnosis, it’s this, find a provider that you feel comfortable with and let them take you by the hand and walk you through the next year. Next, grab hold of someone who has completed the journey before you, specifically someone that agrees to answer any question, no matter how ridiculous or what time of day you ask. Because you will have lots of questions and lots of doubts along the way. And there’s no one that knows that feeling better than a fellow survivor! And lastly, laugh a lot. I read once that cancer isn’t a “journey” like so many call it, it’s a nightmare, I’ve found that the only real way to get through it is with humor, a few good friends and wine, a lot of wine!

Hi! I’m Tracy, and here is my story.

In May of 2017, I went to the doctor for a yearly mammogram. I have gotten a yearly mammogram since I was 30 due to my paternal grandmother having had breast cancer. At that appointment they decided I would need a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound. Within 2 hours of this appointment, I was sitting in my doctor’s office and he was telling me that I would need a biopsy.

That was on a Wednesday. On Friday I had the biopsy. The doctor called me the following Monday to say it was indeed cancer. He called me while I was at work, with no family around.

After getting this news, my daughter and I went to see him.  He thought having a lumpectomy would get it all, and that a mastectomy would be a bit too extreme. So a week & half later (June 2017) I had the lumpectomy and my lymph nodes were tested.  He confirmed that it had not spread. I was ER/PR+ HER2- Stage 1B Ductal carcinoma in situ.

My doctor sent me to an oncologist who wanted to perform 33 radiation treatments and 4 chemo treatments without testing the cancer. I was not comfortable with this opinion, so I requested a second opinion and the doctor refused my request. I decided to send my information to a doctor in Franklin TN, who is also a breast cancer survivor. After reviewing my information, she scheduled me for a MRI, ultrasound, and a biopsy.

They found another cancer spot 1″ from where they performed the lumpectomy. She said the golden rule is, when there are 2 spots in the same breast, a mastectomy is recommended. I told her that if we’re doing it to one side, then we are going to do both sides.  I scheduled my bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction so I would have 4-6 wks recovery because I had a granddaughter coming. In September 2017 I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. 4 weeks after my surgery,  my granddaughter was born. She has given me even more reason to fight.

On December 2017, I had the surgery to have my expanders replaced with implants. I went from a DDD to a C.

Throughout this journey my family was very supportive. I had just started dating a guy 3 months before I was diagnosed with cancer.  He stayed with me and took care of me and my daughter for 6 weeks while I recovered. I went to a new oncologist who did an Onco Type testing in the cancer and it came back a 5 meaning I did NOT need chemo. I am now taking Tamoxifen (which is a hormone blocker) for 5 years.

It was Monday May 14th 2018.  I had been thinking I was pregnant for about a week.  I finally took the at home test (okay more like seven of them!) and they were all positive!  I immediately called the doctor’s office and I got an appointment for the next morning at 9 am with my good friends OB.  That in itself felt like a miracle!  Now knowing that I was pregnant I thought for sure that the lump that I had been feeling on my right breast HAD to be from pregnancy.  That night, two days before our three-year wedding anniversary I told my husband we were pregnant.  We were both super excited and nervous.  He continued to say “I knew it” “I just knew it!”  The next morning, we went in to confirm the pregnancy and got to see our little babe on ultra sound.  They said I was about six weeks along!  *Side note* my cancer timeline goes by my pregnancy weeks and how far along I was at the time!  The weeks and trimesters are very important when it comes to cancer treatment and surgeries during pregnancy. Towards the end of my appointment Dr. Kyzer (my OBGYN) had asked if I had any other questions.  I told her about my lump.  She felt it and said that it felt like a fibroadenoma but wanted to send me to a breast specialist to be sure.  Now looking back and also seeing so many other moms’ stories of their lumps being brushed off as nothing…I am so thankful to her for sending me to Dr Whitworth.

A week later at about 7 weeks pregnant I had my appointment with Dr Pat Whitworth.  I was only nervous because he was a male and I always had a female doctor.  I even told my husband not to come with me because they would just look at it and tell me it’s a clogged milk duct or something.  After looking at it on ultra sound he said he wanted to do a biopsy right then and there, and that’s when I felt like I knew it was cancer.  I called my husband and he rushed to be by my side while they did the biopsy of my tumor and a lymph node.  If you know me, you know I am terrified of needles.  I was very nervous about the biopsy.  Dr Whitworth said oh don’t worry we numb you up and it just sounds like the sound that the ear pierce gun makes.  I look at him terrified and said “I’ve never had my ears pierced!!”  That was the joke we made throughout the whole journey.

At 8 weeks pregnant we went in and got the news.  You have cancer.  I didn’t cry.  I just sat there and stared at them and my husband.  I felt I had already prepared myself from the biopsy.  My husband is a warrior.  He was my patient advocate, best friend, and personal assistant starting right then.  We had not even told family or friends that I was pregnant yet.  My husband Ted took on the task of calling all our family and friends and letting them know we were pregnant but that I was also diagnosed with breast cancer.

I sat around for a couple weeks with our dog by my side feeling very tired from the pregnancy.  I binge watched Impractical Jokers (I highly recommend!) and laughed a lot.  Ted was always out on the phone calling doctors and friends to get opinions of doctors and who was the best.  Sure enough we ended up with the BEST team of doctors who had a solid plan.

We found out that I had invasive ductal carcinoma, triple negative, stage 2 with lymph nodes clear.  Most dread the thought of triple negative but for treatment with me they felt best about that type as any hormone therapy while pregnant would be difficult.  At 10 weeks pregnant on June 5th I had a lumpectomy and one lymph node removed.  If I was not pregnant they would have done the double mastectomy but since I was pregnant I could not be under anesthesia for that long.  June 5^th is technically my cancer free day but we decided to attack from every angle in case there were any stray cells.  July 2^nd I had my port placed.  It may sound silly but that was the worst part for me.  Being pregnant I could not have any anesthesia only local numbing.  I felt most of it, plus could not take any pain meds after.  On July 5^th 2018 at 14 weeks pregnant and the start of the second trimester I started chemo treatment.  After the first trimester the chemo is too big to cross the placenta so it is safe for the baby.  If you are pregnant and fighting cancer I urge you to reach out to me and/or an organization called “Hope for Two”.

I did A/C first.  Every three weeks instead of every two because my oncologist did not feel good about giving me the nuelasta shot (which brings up your white blood cells) while pregnant.  My counts surprisingly all stayed very high during treatment until after I delivered, which just proves that Charlotte had my back and was fighting too!  I am an artist so I brought some things to paint to help the time pass.  I recommend bringing books, crosswords, painting supplies or whatever you enjoy doing. Thankfully I had very little side effects until the fourth and last A/C where I just got extremely tired.  I did start to lose my hair after the second treatment.  It was very itchy and hurt so I had my husband shave it.  We got an amazing wig from HPI hair partners here in Nashville, TN and no one could tell It was a wig! People would always say how much they loved my haircut!   We made it a funny experience since he is bald also, and it brought us that much closer together.

I then started Taxol.  Taxol can cause neuropathy so my oncologist Dr. Vandana Abramson suggested icing my fingers and toes.  It is not fun.  I REPEAT NOT FUN, but it is worth it because I have no neuropathy!  I suggest wearing two pairs of latex gloves and two of the super fancy puke bags on your feet!  I iced them for 1.5 hours every Tuesday for 9 Tuesdays.  I am thankful for Vanderbilt 100 Oaks private infusion rooms so I could curse the ice without anyone knowing other than my husband and Jerry Seinfeld.

At 32 weeks pregnant we did the Making Strides against Breast Cancer walk here in Nashville TN benefiting The American Cancer Society.  I could not walk the whole thing but it made me feel so empowered!  Until then I had not really put myself out there as fighting cancer.  I wanted my journey to be all about my pregnancy.  It was not until then that I decided it would be about both and I was okay with it!  Being with other women, men and their co-survivors who have gone through it was so helpful.

Of course we won the game!   She was and is the strongest girl I know.  She is so brave and helped her mommy kick cancers butt.   Charlie spent three weeks in the NICU at St. Thomas Midtown.  It was hard leaving at the end of the day but I knew she was in the best hands.

I don’t think I could have done it without her.  After she was born I decided to finish my last three taxol treatments to push out the time I could have at home with her before surgery.  Charlotte came home on December 18th and got to spend Christmas with us!  It also meant that she got to come and celebrate with us at our last chemo treatment.  There was no better feeling knowing that she got to be there by my side as I rang the bell, after all she fought too!

I then had 5 weeks to either start radiation or have a double mastectomy.  For me there was no question.  I wanted to have the surgery.  I would always worry about it if I didn’t.

February 4th 2019 I had my double mastectomy.  I don’t remember much until getting home the next day from the hospital.  My family came in to help and recovery went quickly with not too much pain.  Getting comfortable in bed was the worst part.  I would recommend an over the bed table as I found it very helpful!  The drains to me were uncomfortable and grossed me out but my husband did all the cleaning and emptied them for me!  It was devastating not being able to hold our baby girl but her being so small had its advantages.  After surgery I had a 10-pound weight limit which meant I could still hold her and about a week later I could lift her.  I had tissue expanders placed during surgery and went in for four fills.  The needle looks scary but the fills don’t hurt, they just are a little tender that night.  I had the final surgery on April 25th 2019 to replace the tissue expanders with the implants.  I thank my plastic surgeon Dr. Jacob Unger for making me feel and look normal again!  He was so great through the whole process.  He made me feel so comfortable and his bedside manner was so calming. I would HIGHLY recommend him if you are in the Nashville area.  It took about a year, but boy (or should I say girl) did it go by fast.  All of my breast tissue from surgery came back clear and Charlotte, Mommy and Daddy are doing great!

My biggest take away would be to STAY POSITIVE!  I found out that I had the best humans in my life and I promise you do too.  So many positive and helpful people right here in my community with family living so far away.  I am so thankful to my family who made many trips down to help after surgeries.  If you surround yourself with positive people it makes the journey go by easier and faster.

The second thing is to be your own advocate!  No matter what.  I was one of the lucky few that had so many advocates for me.  My husband and my doctors were all so great and made me feel comfortable and informed about every decision.  However, that is not always the case.  I hear time and time again women saying they get brushed off by doctors saying they are too young, or new moms where doctors say it’s just a clogged duct.  It makes me so sad to say but it does not matter how young you are, just get it checked!

Lastly ask questions, and take notes.  NO QUESTION IS STUPID! My husband would always walk in with a long list of questions and walk out with a sheet full of notes.  It is so helpful to have everything written down and in one place.

It’s a tough journey but you can do it! It won’t be easy but it’s worth it.  I love this quote and I am not sure who said it but I lived by it and I hope it brings hope to you!

“YOU WERE GIVEN THIS MOUNTAIN TO PROVE IT CAN BE CLIMBED”

*My husband and I also did a podcast with Jake Owen about our journey that I would love for you to listen to.  His podcast is called “Good Company” and its #20 “The journey of Jocelyn and Ted”

Through it all my faith and trust in God has gotten me through.  My church and all of the prayer warriors have brought me so much peace and hope.  Trusting Gods plan for me and my family and what he has in store for us!

Jocelyn Limmer

jocelynlimmerart.com

I’m so excited for you guys to meet this beautiful lady. Her instagram page is one you definitely should go follow. Her words are so raw and beautiful.

Meet Asha!

“Everything looks fine”

That’s what 4 medical professionals told me before I was diagnosed with Stage 3, grade 3, ER and PR positive, HER2 negative breast cancer.

The 1 cm “bump” that I felt was so insignificant and tiny that people could barely feel what I was talking about, but I KNEW. Why? Because I learned to know my body and had started advocating for myself when it came to my health, and thank God I did.

I am married to the most incredible man who I call my Husbandman, and we’ve been married 14 years, this year, and parent 2 of the most insanely wonderful little humans.

This cancer battle has been hardest on them, especially our almost 10 year old son.

Our 5 year old daughter weaves in and out about talks on death and it bring tears to this mama’s eyes to see my babies battle through this as well and how their faith has grown.

People will tell you about how “brave and strong” you are on days where you’re barely holding on. That’s when I see God’s power! I also have learned that we are all so much stronger than we give ourselves credit! Thank your phenomenal body today!

The future seems a bit crazy since after chemo, a bilateral mastectomy, lots of radiation, and a ton of clean eating and detoxing, the cancer is still not all gone and continues to spread.

I’m exhausted & frustrated.

I’m blessed and so grateful.

How can I be all four of those?

Because life is a beautiful contradiction.

Because my life is God’s capable hands.

Because I am STILL here to live it,

and for that I am so insanely grateful!

Breathe it ALL in, warrior sisters & brothers!

We’re in this together!

Love you all💕

You can follow Asha’s story by going to her instagram.

Instagram name: dearcancer_itsme

Oh hey!  I am happily the other half of the team of Tata to Cancer with Laura and like the other women we share stories of, I am a young breast cancer Survivor.  Today I am going to share my experience with you, and like the others who have shared, I hope this helps other women who unfortunately may encounter something similar until we find a way to prevent this disease.

My story all started with an itch. Yes, literally, an itch. It was the first day in my new house in Nashville on November 1, 2017 and I woke up to an itch on my breast which led me to feel a large lump. When I took my shower that day I performed a self-exam, which I am so grateful to have learned in college, and it is then when I realized this was something I needed to get checked out as soon as possible.  That morning, at 34 years old, I called my doctor whom I had just seen less than 6 months earlier where I received a clear bill of health.  After a couple of days of trying to get an appt I found another OB/GYN who could get me in and then my process quickly progressed.

In hindsight I know how lucky I am that the first nurse I saw took this seriously and I went from finding a lump on the 1^st to my first appt on the 6^th followed by 3 days of appts to where I had an ultrasound, mammogram, MRI and biopsy which all led to my diagnosis on November 13^th, it was a total whirlwind.  When my doctor told me it was cancer I was in total disbelief, I really thought it was not possible.  My friend and I sat in shock while my doctor quickly moved into surgical options and scheduling blood work and additional x-rays which I would be getting a mere 30 min after I heard the news.  I found out quickly that this was no joke and in that moment my journey began.

The next few weeks progressed at the same rate – after my diagnosis I saw all of the specialists I needed within days; oncology surgeon, oncologist, plastic surgeon, and fertility specialist.  I had genetic testing which yielded a full negative panel and therefore no indication of why I would have breast cancer so young.  The first two weeks were an onslaught of information and decisions which at the time you know are serious, but how serious and what your decisions mean for the rest of your life you cannot even comprehend.

After reaching out to other breast cancer survivors (who gave me the best advice!), I decided to get a second opinion – which I believe is well worth it and highly recommended.  While it could be an added expense and it does take time, for me having a third party validation gave me the piece of mind I needed at a time when everything I was hearing was not only foreign, it was crazy talk…there was no way I was a healthy and active 34 year old with breast cancer.  My denial was put to bed with the confirmation of the exact same diagnosis from two full medical teams – I had triple positive (ER/PR/HER2 positive) breast cancer which required surgery, chemotherapy and years of follow-up care.

Once I started to accept the reality, I chose to enact my standard businesslike approach and get to planning.  My family, from Detroit, and friends banded around and all ensured I never had to go to an appointment alone no matter what resistance I gave.  I now totally recommend having a note-taker in every appointment through the process, we had a notebook which we could use to do our homework after the appointments since 90% of what was happening did not get absorbed on the first pass.  It wasn’t until months later when I reread all of my paperwork that I started to understand my diagnosis and all of the notes helped me greatly in sorting through the medical jargon.

Within days of my diagnosis I started fertility to get ahead of the chemotherapy.  (Side note: Fertility treatment is an important question to ask your doctor if you don’t yet have kids and was something I would have never thought about.)  The egg removal procedure would be followed closely by the tumor surgery. While I was given an option for the type and extent of surgery, a double mastectomy was the overwhelming recommendation.  There are a few types of mastectomies – skin/nipple sparing, skin sparing, or full removal.  How and what is removed is based on the stage/type of cancer and location.  In my case the location of the tumor required I had a skin sparing surgery which removed my nipples and all breast tissue.  On December 14^th I had my surgery and with the removal of the tumor, clean margins and clear tests of my lymph nodes, I was then cancer free!  While that was the official case, I surely did not feel cancer free as I was preparing for chemotherapy to start in less than a month.

Like many cancer patients, I decided to keep working through my treatment.  My work has always been a huge part of who I am and I felt that if I took time off then the cancer would have won.  Luckily, I work for an amazing company and have a very supportive
leader as well as an incredible team who made the hardest days of my life possible. While my mom and friends and family showed up for my treatments and to sit with me on the hard days (the 2-4^th days after the chemo), my work family kept me uplifted and feeling useful – albeit I wasn’t always able to do as much as I wanted.  My first chemo treatment was the second week of January, 24 hours after having my chest port placed.  I went through 6 rounds, 1 every 3 weeks, of the hard stuff which was then followed by 7 additional months of Herceptin to treat the Her2 positive diagnosis.  I lost my hair, which I shaved before it fell out, and decided to go bald for the majority of the time…wigs just were not for me. One of the things that got me through chemo, aside from work, was staying active.  I got a trainer to help me get my mobility back after the first surgery and then joined a fitness group.  Staying busy was hugely beneficial for my recovery.

Once I finished chemotherapy I was able to get the second reconstructive surgery.  This surgery, while hard to recover from due to the skin grafts of my new nipples, was a mental game changer – it helped me feel a bit more like myself.  I was hesitant to have the reconstructive nipples, where the doctor makes nipples out of skin from another part of your body, but after strong recommendations I opted in and am today beyond thankful.  While this isn’t for everyone, seeing myself look more similar to my “old self” helped me move forward and accept my new body.

Following chemo I continued Herceptin IV treatment and started on Tamoxifen in addition to Lupron (both of which I am still on today) to manage my hormones and prevent reoccurrence.  While I take these medications, I have found that making lifestyle changes has helped me the most with my recovery and I expect with my long term health.  Cancer has given me way more than it has taken from me and I am oddly grateful for the journey it has taken me on and the path it is forging for my future.  I am more aware of my body as a machine I need to take great care of than ever before.  My desire to learn more about how I give myself the best outcome and in turn help to spread awareness to others has become an everyday passion. Advocacy, fundraising and being a part of a community of survivors has given me an entirely new outlook and I am excited to see where this path will lead.

The last thought I want to share and leave you with is in regard to mental health.  For me the physical side of cancer, while unpleasant, was the easier part.  I don’t believe my recovery really began until after I was months out of chemo and fully healed from my last reconstructive surgery.  I was still getting treatment and had my chest port while my hair began to grow back and I started to feel normal, gaining my energy and living a normal routine, this is the point when I realized what had actually occurred over the last year.  Reflecting on what had occurred and how much my life was changed hit me harder than the actual diagnosis and has taken more time to process than I could have ever guessed.  If I can share one piece of advice it would be to take the time you need to reflect and feel all of the emotions cancer can bring on.  Love yourself through the good and the bad and when you don’t have energy, have the courage to let someone else’s love hold you up. 

Writing my story and sharing with friends and family was therapeutic in my process.  My full journey and more about life beyond cancer can be found on my blog at www.courageforgoodbetterbest.com or you can find my story on Instagram @sparty_ang.

I look forward to being a part of sharing more stories of survivors and thrivers as we all band together for support and a drive for a cure!  Tata to Cancer!

Toni is one of my Nashville Breasties! So excited for you guys to meet her!

I found my “lump” myself in 2016. It was small and about the size of a pea. I brought it to my Nurse Practitioner’s attention and she decided I should get a diagnostic mammogram. When I went for the test I was told I did not need a mammogram due to my age, so they opted for an ultrasound instead. I was told they were sure that my “lump” was nothing more than a fibroadenoma (benign tumor). I had these results sent to my ob/gyn who also confirmed there was nothing suspicious.

Fast forward to August 2017… I was at my next routine ob/gyn visit, and my doctor completed his breast exam and said everything looked fine. I questioned the lump again that now seemed like it was the size of a marble and pointed out that it was growing. Since I felt that it had grown he sent me for another ultrasound that confirmed it had doubled in size. The radiologist was still certain that it was just a fibroadenoma, but recommended a biopsy since it had indeed grown.

I was then sent to a surgeon to see about having a biopsy. At this point I was not alarmed at all! The surgeon gave me 3 options; I could do nothing and monitor it every 3 months, a needle biopsy, or remove it. I was at the surgeon’s office alone and of course asked him what the best option was. He told me that if I was his wife and had a painful lump that was “nothing” he would recommend removing it, so I was in agreement. To be honest, I wanted it gone as well. It was on my bra line and hurt so bad some days!

Surgery day came, Daniel, my husband, went with me and I had it removed. Again, I was not nervous. I was not scared. I thought they were going to remove it and all was going to be alright (the C word didn’t cross my mind, so naïve!). After surgery the surgeon told me to call and make a follow-up appointment within 2 weeks, I checked my work schedule and made the appointment closer to the 2 week mark due to convenience. His office called me later and asked if I could come in earlier, I was so annoyed with them, but went. Still I thought nothing about it! In hindsight, I think of how naive I was, but I think for my mental health I am happy that I was not worrying all of those days! I went to the appointment alone, again because I had nothing to worry about, right!?! (WRONG!) When he and his Nurse Practitioner came in and said those words, “I am sorry it came back cancer,” I was shocked. Total disbelief. How in the world at 30 years old did I have cancer!?! I cried. Not ugly cry (yet), but I sat there and just let the tears flow. The NP was AMAZING, she hugged me and I am pretty sure shed a tear for me as my life was instantly changed. She shared her personal phone number with me and said she wanted to be there for me if at all possible. They both told me they wanted to tell me so badly to bring someone with me, but knew I would be alarmed.

When I left the surgeon’s office I immediately called Daniel and told him that I have cancer. He cried with me, but he had the instant mindset of “we’ve got this” and he continued to use that phrase throughout all of my treatment. In that moment normalcy is all I wanted, he suggested we go eat and get ice cream to take my mind off of it. I just wanted to go to the gym and follow though my normal routine! Looking back, I realize how crazy that probably sounds. But I instantly knew I didn’t want cancer to take over my life. My mom goes to the same gym and she knew as soon as she saw me that something was wrong and I told her. From there, I text a few of my close friends, but I didn’t want people to know at first. I am not sure why, but once I had the final diagnosis and treatment plan I knew there would be no hiding it and decided to open up about it.

I got my final pathology back that my cancer was Her2+ ER/PR-. I was told that chemo was a must, due to my positive Her2 status, and that I would be doing 6 rounds of TCHP (Taxotere, Carboplatin, Herceptin, and Perjeta) followed by a total of a year of Herceptin infusions. I would also need a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy (I ultimately went with the double mastectomy). My MO then ordered a breast MRI to confirm the cancer was only in my left breast, the MRI showed a tiny lesion on my sternum and a couple slightly enlarged lymph nodes. I was sent to a breast surgeon who did a biopsy of my lymph nodes which confirmed I had one positive node. Due to the sternal lesion I then had a CT scan and bone scan to see if the sternal lesion was cancerous. The CT scan revealed yet another lesion on my iliac crest (hip), now requiring a PET scan. Praise the Lord, the sternal lesion and hip lesion didn’t light up! I remember when I got the call that those did not light up, I cried! Throughout all of this, in my naïve mind this whole time I was hoping that they removed the tumor and I was done. Again, how was I so stupid!?!

The thought of chemo shook me to the core. I did not want to LOOK sick; I know that sounds vain, but I truly didn’t want pity from others! I did not want the world to know I was sick. What did I do? Google how to save my hair, found out about cold caps and Daniel was on board with helping me do this if I truly wanted to. I talked to my MO about it at my next appointment and was told to “embrace being bald,” he said that cold caps are painful, expensive, and not guaranteed. His office gave me lots of info on wigs, but was not supportive of cold capping! I am stubborn; I talked to many different companies and decided to try it anyways and got my caps through Arctic Cold Caps. At my first treatment everyone laughed when I rolled in my Coleman cooler full of dry ice and caps. Everyone was so interested in the process! Cold capping was hard. My first treatment I had them on 10-11 hours (you start 45 min before, during, and 4 hours after). It was a lot of work for Daniel, he had to change the caps every 20 minutes and make sure the caps were maintaining the correct temperature. He never complained! I am sure I complained more than him about the discomfort! Overall, I would say I lost 25-30% of my hair, it thinned overall, but I didn’t have visible bald spots. Many people say that I never looked sick, but I look back at pictures and they are just being nice! LoL.

Chemo was HARD, but it was doable! I expected to have no life other than cancer while going through chemo, yet I was able to maintain some normalcy most days. I still worked full time, only taking off the day of treatment and was still able to go to the gym and do low impact workouts. I think the biggest surprise was a loss of friendships. One thing many people don’t consider when you’re diagnosed, especially at a young age, you may lose friendships. Your “friends” may not be able to relate to you anymore and become distant. I wholeheartedly don’t think it’s on purpose, but as I’ve talked to other survivors it seems to be a pattern. Although I’ve grown apart from friends, I have gained some friendships that I’m forever grateful for! One of my now closest friends is someone I’ve met in a Facebook group. She messaged me back in December 2017 stating that I looked happy and healthy and that I gave her HOPE. Just knowing I gave one person hope made me happy! She was newly diagnosed and I shared all the information I could about Cold Caps, chemo, etc. We formed the best friendship and last June I was able to travel to Georgia and meet her in real life! It was AMAZING!

If I could give anyone going through this journey tips, it would be to be your own advocate! I cannot express this enough. Nobody cares about your own health as much as you do and nobody knows your body as well as yourself! If I would not have been persistent that my “lump” was growing who knows how much longer it would’ve been before diagnosis! Also, stay away from Google! It is not your friend and will just terrify you even more! Take it day by day and don’t compare your cancer journey to anyone else’s!

I would like to give some advice for those going through chemo. Listen to your body, if you feel like you need to rest, do not over do it! Stay ahead of the nausea meds. Tell your oncologist about any symptoms you are having a difficult time with, they can’t help with relief if they don’t know what you are going through. Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help with anything! Whether it be housework, helping with the kids, emotional support, anything!

Don’t be afraid to cry! Don’t hold your emotions in, express yourself. It is ok to have bad days! Find you a “breastie!” Someone going through the same treatment, it is so nice to have someone to relate to. Share stories with. Ask for advice.

Daniel from day one has always told me, “we’ve got this!” I think his positive attitude throughout this tragic time impacted mine and helped me stay strong during chemo, recovery from surgeries, and everything else!

You can follow Toni’s journey on instagram!

@tonir24

You can follow Jewel’s story on Instagram.

IG: @jewelsrhema

Our lovely Woman Candy Wednesday this week is Lisa. Lisa’s attitude and her not wondering, “why me”, really made me smile. You can tell she is one inspiring lady. I’m so glad she shared her story with us.

Here is Lisa!

In early December of 2018, I was watching football with my husband. It was a Sunday and I was planning my week ahead (as most busy moms do). For the past year or so, once a month around my menstrual cycle, I had been experiencing tender breast. So on this day, I was feeling the side of my breasts, kinda under my armpits and on the left side, I felt a small lump. I then went into full self exam mode and felt again, and there was a definite lump. The panic in me happened, and my gut reaction was, well this is it. I have cancer. Then the optimist in me quickly rationalized that this was probably a benign Fibroadenoma. I had already had one of those in my early twenties. I had it removed and tested and I was fine. I thought this would go about the same. So I made a Dr. appointment, he confirmed there was something there but that it was probably just a cyst.

The day after Christmas, I went in for a sonogram, followed by a biopsy the next week and a diagnosis two days later. My ob/gyn came into the room and informed my that I had “just a little cancer”. I thought, what?! Who has “just a little”?! Either I have it or I don’t!

I knew right away that I wanted to be treated at UCSF (University of California San Francisco). They have some of the best doctors in the world and they have a Breast Cancer Treatment Center.

I found out in the weeks to follow that I was Triple Positive. That means that I am Estrogen (ER), Progesteron (PR) and HER2 Positive. I thought of course I tested triple positive, I am such a positive person! This type of cancer tends to be more aggressive so the decision was to have a lumpectomy first, then chemo, then radiation. After my lumpectomy, my cancer was staged as a diagnostic stage II and prognostic 1b. One of my lymph nodes tested positive, so my treatment includes six rounds of Chemo. It’s TCHP (Taxotere, Carboplatin, Herceptin and Perjeta). The first two are chemo drugs and the second two are antibodies. I will have chemo until July of this year, followed by 4 weeks of radiation (20 sessions total) then 8 months more of infusions every three weeks of the antibodies only, followed by a shot once a month for I don’t know how long, followed by 8-10 years of oral medication. All this, for “just a little” cancer.

Through all this, I never thought “why me”. I don’t know why. I guess maybe because I have never known anyone with breast cancer so I have always thought that either I will get it or someone close to me will. Since 1 in 8 women are diagnosed, I knew that chances are this cancer will impact my life at some point. I know that statistically speaking, it shouldn’t be me. I have done almost everything they say to prevent cancer.  I am young (39), I have no family history, I breastfed all three of my children, I am not a drinker, I exercise very regularly and I eat well. I have had one break down. The week before my first chemo infusion. I don’t like not knowing what to expect and with chemo, even though my doctors did an excellent job of preparing me, there is no way to know how your body will react to the side effects.

My best advice to anyone beginning this journey, is to just prepare the best you can, get a team of doctors that you trust your life with and ask questions. For me, I have had to travel to each appointment to a bigger city (San Francisco). It’s about 1 hour 45 min. away, but my life is worth it. Also, get your support system in place. You will find out quickly who is there for you and who isn’t. I have the BEST husband. We were high school sweethearts, married young and going on 20 years of marriage. I want for nothing. He waits on me hand and foot, tracks my meds, gets me anything I want and knows what I need before I do. He’s made this whole thing so much easier. Also remember at your lowest points, the reason you are doing this. To live. The treatment is torture on your body physically, but remember what it’s doing. It’s killing cancer too! You will get through this, we will get through this.

Lisa