Category: Tatatocancer

Happy 2019! Wow it’s been a while since I updated you guys.

When I updated last, I was towards the beginning of my radiation treatment. I’m SO happy to say that I finished radiation right before Christmas. I rung that bell for hopefully the LAST time. Fingers crossed.

Radiation really was not too bad. My energy gradually lowered but nothing too crazy. My skin did not really burn, or at least I didn’t think it did. It did however start to peel so that was fun. But now I’m all good!

I had a great Christmas celebrating with my wonderful family. Ray’s family came down to spend it with us as well. I felt very loved. And very lucky.

I finally took off my wig and started rocking the natural hair. It feels SO good!

We rang in the new year. I’ve never been so happy to have a year come to an end. 2018 taught me many things. It taught be how to be strong, how to love, how to not take one single second for granted, and most of all how to really talk to God. I have quite the conversations with the man upstairs now. I would not be where I am today without Him.

January was full of fun times. Not many doctor’s appointments. I did however have an appointment with my oncologist. My blood work, where they check for tumor markers, came back great! Then I was hit with quite the decision that I needed to make. They said I could do a clinical trial. The trial consists of a drug that you take twice a day along with the hormone therapy that I am already on. The drug is FDA approved for stage IV patients and has showed great results with their cancer not progressing. This trial is for earlier stage cancers like mine was. It is to see if taking the hormone blocker along with this drug lowers the risk of reoccurrence more than taking just the hormone blocker alone.

Of course this comes with side effects. Some of them definitely concern me but also this is a really expensive drug that I’d be getting for free. So I’ve decided to try it. I can back out at any time so I don’t see the harm in just trying it out for a bit to see how it goes. I’ve had zero side effects with my hormone blocker, so that is a great start.

Before I begin the trial I will have to get a bone scan (cue scanxiety attack). So that is what I will be up to in these next few weeks. I will begin the trial in March.

I also would like to tell you about my lovely friend Amanda. I’ve known Amanda ever since college. She is strong. She is beautiful. She has the MOST adorable family ever. Amanda is 33 and just found out she has Stage IV breast cancer. Just typing those words make me so emotional. It just does not make sense. She is handling it with such strength and grace. You can read her blog here.

Speaking of my “breastie”, here is a photo of my Nashville Breasties. Can’t believe we all have had breast cancer at young ages. It just is crazy. But it happens. And I’m so lucky to be connected to them.

So there are the updates from the last two months.

In three days, February 6, It will be one year exactly from when I went to my breast appointment and my nurse Norma found the lump that turned out to be cancer. It will be an emotional week for me going through those days that followed. I can’t believe it has been a year.

Love you guys!

Until next time…

 

Tomorrow I turn 32… This time last year I was dreading turning 31. Oh how old. (Insert eye roll here). This year, I’m so thankful to be turning 32. I will no longer fret getting older. Instead, now I pray I get the privilege to grow old.

Cancer changes things. What it’s changed about me the most is that now I enjoy each minute of every day. I am be thankful that I’m here, healthy, and surviving . I pray every night and thank God that I’m alive. I thank Him each morning when I wake up.

I am happier than I’ve ever been. That may sound weird, but it’s true. Am I still scared my cancer could come back? Heck yes. I think about it every day. But I don’t let it steal my joy.

Tomorrow I will be going in for my 9th treatment of radiation. I am completely in love with my radiation team. They make me laugh which I think is truly the best medicine there is. So far I’ve not had any side effects. I will have a total of 25 treatments, with my last day being December 20th.

I also have a meeting with my oncologist next week. These will be the ones I dread. Every 3 months for 2 years I will meet with her and have my blood drawn to make sure the cancer hasn’t metastasized. These days won’t be fun. But again, I refuse to let it steal my joy.

I can’t wait to ring in this new year. 2018 has been a doozy, but it’s taught me so much. I’m so thankful for where I am today.

Now for the q&a part…

Have you experienced lymphedema?

No I have not…yet. I am at an increased risk because of having my Axillary lymph nodes removed. Because of this I meet with my therapist once a week during radiation to give me a lymph massage to teach the fluid in my arm to go to other lymph nodes in my body such as my back, stomach, or other side of my chest. So far, so good.

Any advice for someone just finding out they have cancer?

Breathe. Take time to decide your treatment options. Get a second opinion regarding treatment so you can feel good about your choices. Take it day by day. And most importantly, pray. Meditate. Hug someone. You have a long journey in front of you but you will be amazed at how fast it goes. 💜

When will you show us your hair growth?

I just posted it on my instastory. It’s a hot mess right now. No idea how to style it right now haha! I go to see my friend in a few weeks to have her cut and color it for me! So stay tuned. 😬

That’s about it! The rest I answered above I believe!

Hope y’all are having a great holiday season!

Until next time…

Hi! It’s me! I know I’ve been a little quiet on here lately, but I was just taking time off to enjoy my month off from surgeries and treatment. I do have some updates for you guys!

I’ll start where I left off last time. My implant surgery went SO well. I was truly amazed at how fast I healed from surgery. I saw my plastic surgeon last week and got the all clear. He also told me that if during radiation therapy, there are any changes to the implant that we can fix them. Which is such great news!

Last week I also had my markings for radiation. I met with my radiation oncologist and she made me feel so comfortable with what is about to come. She has what is called a breath hold technique that I will be doing. Since my cancer was in my left breast, they are having me hold my breath during radiation so that it expands my chest, which will make it easier for them to radiate where they need to, and to protect my heart and lungs from unnecessary radiation.

I will be having my first radiation treatment on Wednesday. I have a overwhelming calmness about the whole thing. I’m just ready to get this step over with and heal. The finish line is finally in sight.

I do want to address something. Everyone thinks I’ve been so positive during this whole year of craziness. That’s not always true. I have had my moments, and there were even a couple days a few weeks ago I could barely breathe. The thoughts of reoccurrence made me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t think of anything else. I know that it’s a possibility that I may have to deal with this again. I am trying to stay as positive as possible but want to address that it’s normal to have these fears. My oncology nurse warned me about these fears on my last day of chemo. It’s like during your treatment you are so focused on that you aren’t thinking about reoccurrence. But my last day of treatment was September 5th. I’ve had 2 months of doing nothing to prevent cancer and it started freaking me out. I tried a meditation app called calm. It has been a Godsend. I am now able to switch my focus when I start having those fears.

I will say cancer has taught me to enjoy every single moment. I don’t want to waste a minute of a day being unhappy. Life is literally too short.

I love you guys!!! I’ll leave you with some pictures over the last month. The first being the amazing support I had at the Making Strides walk. Truly blessed.

Xoxo

Laura wanted me to do a blog from a boyfriend’s perspective in hopes that other guys that are watching their significant others go through cancer don’t feel alone.

This is from my eyes so it’s really how I personally remembered it and I may be off a little with dates/order of events.

On a Friday back in February, Laura told me the doctor found something in her breast and it was probably serious. That whole weekend was surreal because we knew our lives would be changed forever. We watched a lot of tv and sat on the couch together and I’m pretty sure we didn’t leave the living room. We knew Monday Laura would find out if she for sure had cancer.  I remember on Sunday she cried in bed for hours. It’s so hard to watch someone you love who’s always so full of life, just lay in bed when it’s nice weather outside. She did so much research that entire weekend. She learned everything about the bolt shaped object in her breast. She asked my opinion if I thought it was “jagged.” I told her ya, it definitely feels jagged. We knew then she had cancer.

In the weeks that followed a lot of it was a blur. I just remember a lot of quiet weekends where we didn’t do a lot. It’s the only time in my life I’ve done absolutely nothing for an entire weekend. Not one thing. We did that for several weekends in a row, to a point that it almost became normal. I didn’t really go to the gym or work out, and I gained some weight. It was honestly the lowest I’ve ever felt. We watched all of the seasons of vanderpump rules from the very beginning on hulu. We fell in love with jax and Stassi and couldn’t wait to start the next episode. Side note: We are for sure going to SUR in Los Angeles and Stassi better be our waitress haha. Eventually though, that time period ended.

I remember a moment during those weeks that Laura said “I’m done feeling sorry for myself.” Honestly, from then on we stopped comparing our lives to our friends/co-workers. It wasn’t easy, but it was just something that we had to do. We finally were fine with life being unfair, and it was okay that we were different than everyone else.

I didn’t really want to tell people at work for whatever reason. Laura told my co-worker Amy because they’re pretty good friends. And she’s been amazing. I told the guys at work separately. I texted bones that Laura had cancer and he told me I could have whatever time off I needed. It was an awesome text back that I saved on my phone. I think Laura told Eddie and Lunchboxes wives and then they told their husbands. I remember eddie brought me cookies one night in the studio from his sweet wife. That broke the ice for us guys, and we talked about how Laura had been diagnosed with cancer. It was a really special night with my boys being there for me.

The days passed slowly and Laura had to make a lot of life decisions. She decided to have her breasts removed and get chemo/radiation for 6 months. Her breast surgery day was crazy at work but I snuck away and threw my work on others. Laura’s dad, mom, brother, sister-in-law, were all there. We found out that the cancer was stage 3 and it had moved outside of her breast. When the doctor told us that, I just couldn’t stop thinking about Laura lying so innocently in the hospital bed. There was a lot of crying in the waiting room while Laura was resting after surgery. I remember we had this really expensive 5 star dinner delivered to the hospital and we all ate motionless kind of. I don’t think Laura’s dad ate at all. It hurt so much for me to think of Laura, all alone in a room fighting cancer.

After what seemed like forever, Laura came home and her parents took care of her in the weeks that followed. They were better with blood, and I could only give her so much of my time with work. Her mom and dad changed out her tubes I believe 2-3 times a day, for weeks on end. Watching her dad care for her by removing those cords from her body would make any guy want to be a better man. It was so special to see a father’s love for his daughter.

After weeks of treatments Laura went with her friend to get her hair taken off because she didn’t want to watch it slowly fall out in the shower. That must have been so hard for Laura. She loved her hair so much and took such good care of it. In an instant life took it from her. That really made me mad at how unfair that was, but I had to just move on and get over it.

The chemo treatments were every week and Laura started to slowly lose her energy. I remember the time we went to a titans game and we had to stop at the top of the bridge as the crowd moved past us. Laura was unable to catch her breath for the longest time. On that bridge, we were just two people both so young, with our entire lives in front of us, fighting the effects of cancer unbeknownst to anyone around us. I just held her and told her it was going to be okay until she finally caught her breath. We went to the game and left after the first quarter. I was slowly starting to so see how vicious cancer/chemo really is.

I went to some of the chemo appointments of the 16 but her parents went to the most. Honestly without their help, I would of probably had to quit my job and work as an uber driver at night. That’s the God’s honest truth. Family is so priceless that’s for sure.

In the months that followed Laura completed her chemo and her energy started to come back. We made blue aprons at night together and she taught me how to cook. One time I decided to make her a blue apron. It was apple & cheddar grilled cheese w/ sautéed carrots. It took me over an hour but I was so proud of myself because I finally made her a meal after she had made so many for me.

Well eventually after 6 months she completed chemo and rang the bell! And we had the most amazing brunch celebration with 30+ of our closest friends. Literally every one of our friends came. I will cherish that Instagram picture of everyone forever.

Life is so different now. We celebrate birthdays differently. We aren’t afraid of getting older anymore. We never say “I don’t want to be this age.” We celebrate a lot more. Laura put up the Christmas tree the other day, even before Halloween haha. On Friday nights we go downstairs to hang out with the neighbors for the first time and we never miss a Saturday brunch at M street. Life is different now and we’re finally cool with that.

Laura is walking this weekend in the making strides of nashville event at titans stadium. We plan to walk across that same bridge with friends, family, the B team and never look back.

Thanks for reading! Boyfriend out!

Hi guys!

Just wanted to send you all a quick note. I’ve been asked a lot about where to find the Downtown Living article that I posted yesterday. They were kind enough to send me a PDF form of the magazine.

If you’re interested just click below!

Oct_2018_Downtown_Living (1) (1)

Hope everyone has a fun weekend!

– Laura

Hey y’all! Long time no blog post! I had so many random appointments that I wanted to get through them all before giving my next update.

Last Wednesday was my final chemo. I was so happy to bang that gong. I had been staring at it since my first treatment on April 25th. It felt surreal to be able to finally hit it and say I’m done with chemo.

I also felt a little sad in a weird way. The oncology nurses have been so special to me. It was hard saying bye to them. Good news is I’ll still be in that building every 3 months for check ups, so I’ll just have to pop over and say hi to them! It takes a special person to be an oncology nurse.

The next day I had my first meeting with my radiation oncologist. I loved her! She ran through with me what to expect, and told me I’ll be having 5 weeks of radiation. This won’t begin until November due to me having my implant surgery this month. I’ll need time to heal before they begin radiation. It was a great meeting and I know I’m in good hands with her and her team.

Then came the weekend. I spent a lot of time last weekend trying to focus on being happy. I saw this quote on Pinterest and it is exactly the way I was feeling. It’s so easy to get in your head and worry about the next thing. Sometimes you need to just chill out and breathe.

Thankfully we had my uncle’s surprise 70th birthday party. Family is everything. I had such a great time with them. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my weekend than with my sweet family. It was good for my soul.

Monday I went for my pre op appointment with my plastic surgeon. On September 28th I will be switching these tissue expanders over to implants. Yay!!! Also my awesome doctor is going to be doing lipo to transfer fat from my stomach to my breast to make them look more natural with the implants. Free lipo! Momma needs it. Chemo has not been kind to my waistline. So I’m super excited for my surgery. And if you are in Nashville and need an awesome plastic surgeon, Dr Unger is your guy.

Now we get to my appointments today. I had a CT scan this morning. Scanxiety set in guys. I had one before chemo and it was clear, but it’s still nerve wracking. My “what ifs” set in. “What if they missed something the first time?” “What if something grew over these last 4 months?” I mean I’m the queen of what if’s.

After my CT appointment, I met with my oncologist for the results. Thank you Jesus, they were clear! God is good.

After that amazing news was delivered, we began discussing what’s next. For the next 2 years I will be having blood tests and meeting with my oncologist every 3 months. After that I’ll go every 6 months for 3 years. I also will stay on the Lupron shot for 2 years. This will be a shot I get every 3 months to suppress my ovaries (TMI I know). Since my cancer fed on hormones they want to do everything possible to limit my body’s hormones. Thank goodness I froze my eggs back in March. 🙌🏻 I also will begin a drug called Tamoxifen after I finish my radiation.

I’m not going to lie to y’all, I’ve had a lot of anxiety thinking about my chance of reoccurrence. I was stage 3a and was node positive. Right now I am clear of cancer, but I know it could come back one day. I just pray that it is gone for good and I’m putting my anxiety and fears in God’s hands.

That’s it for the the update. Information overload right? I want to thank everyone who has said prayers for me. They have worked you guys! My heart is happy. This weekend I am celebrating “no more chemo” with my friends. A few of them who have gone through chemo for breast cancer themselves will be there. I can’t wait to be surrounded by people I love who have gotten me through this dark time.

Now for the questions answered part…

I asked on instagram if anyone had questions for me. Here is what I got…

Read any good books lately?

Oh yes! I’m currently reading “The Ex” by Alafair Burke I’m loving it so far. I still say if you haven’t read “Behind Closed Doors” by B. A. Paris, you are missing out. The best book I’ve read all year. And I’ve read a lot of books this year!

You’re always so brave, when was the last time you were scared in this process?

Today. I was scared today. I was scared yesterday. I may look and seem brave but every single day I have a moment that I get a little scared or nervous. And that is ok. As long as I don’t dwell on it, and let that moment pass, then it’s ok.

What are your favorite fall things to do?

Omg. I love all things fall. Basic white girl in the houseeee 🙌🏻. My favorite is fall candles. Oh and football. And pumpkins. And pumpkin spice lattes. And… ok everything fall. I love everything fall.

What are your side effects from taxol? Is it true that it is easier than AC?

Everyone is different, but I can say for me, Taxol was a breeze. I had zero side effects with Taxol. I did ice my hands and feet which I believe saved me from neuropathy which is the most major side effect of Taxol.

Will you wear a short hair do once it grows out?

At some point yes. I have my wig attached now but it’s not attached in the back. This has allowed me to see my hair growth and y’all… it’s growing!!! I think I’ll have a pixie hair do by Thanksgiving.

Favorite shoes or store?

Vince Camuto hands down has the best shoes.

Ok that is it. The other questions had to do with things I’ve already mentioned in this post above.

Always feel free to reach out with any questions you may have.

Until next time….

Happy Thursday! We have almost made it to the weekend! Hope everyone has had a great week.

Two weekends ago Ray and I went to Vegas and had such a great time! It is nice to get away and feel semi normal for a bit.

Then we got home and he went straight to chemo with me. Here he is looking super happy as usual. 😂

After that we pretty much had a restful weekend.

Yesterday my mom took me to chemo number 13 of 16. I’m getting SO close to closing this chapter.

Ok enough about me. Back to why I’m writing this post. 🙂 I asked yesterday on instagram for any questions that you would like me to answer on my next blog. Y’all were awesome! I got so many questions. I’m going to try to answer them all.

Ok here we go…

Were you able to work during treatment?

I have been able to work almost the whole time with exception to chemo days. During my last two of my first regimen, I did miss a couple days of work because of extreme fatigue. With the one I’m on now I have only missed treatment days. Shoutout to my job for being awesome and understanding. I can’t thank them enough.

When are you and Ray getting married?

I got this one a lot. Let’s just say it better be soon. 😂

What do you do for stress management?

Scream. Hahaha jk jk. I actually just found this app called #selfcare and I’m really liking it.

Would you be willing to do a makeup tutorial?

Oh lord. Ummm it would probably be the funniest, most disorganized, tutorial ever.

What is something friends can do for a friend going through treatment?

Pray! It’s the best thing you can do. Also bake for them. Some chemo regimens are super hard on your tastebuds. My first one was. I lived off of bread basically. And I had wonderful family make me some amazing food.

What suprises you most about how people treat you after diagnosis?

My friends and family have been amazing. Some of the people you never would had thought would be there for you show up. It’s amazing. You definitely find out a lot about your friends and family. I’m so grateful.

Most encouraging thing someone has said to you since your diagnosis?

This too shall pass. Take it one day at a time. Simple words but I say them to myself every day.

How do you stay so strong?

I’m not always strong. I actually broke down yesterday. I started thinking about my chance of reoccurrence and just broke down. I am not always so positive. I have bad days. But most days I’m strong and happy. I just put my faith in God. He knows what He is doing. I’m just along for the ride.

How has your relationship with Ray changed since diagnosis?

We are stronger than I could have ever imagined. I’m so thankful he has not only stuck by my side but has gone above and beyond to keep me happy. I mean he literally has to scoop my cats litter everyday y’all. And he doesn’t complain! He deserves a medal just for that. Haha!

What do you wear for makeup?

I’ll post the links below.

Foundation Laura Mercier

Concealer Smashbox

Contour pallet Smashbox

Setting Powder Laura Mercier

Brow pencil Anastasia brow wiz

Brow builder Sephora

Eyeshadow Urban Decay

Blush NARS

Mascara Tarte

Eyeliner well I wear Hard Candy but I think they have discontinued it. 😩

Shimmer. Y’all. This stuff is AMAZING Laura Gellar in Gilded Honey

How do you stay inspired and keep up with your blog?

I’ve been slacking lately!! But trying to get better. Y’all are my inspiration 🤗.

Where did you get your hair? I forgot and want to tell a friend.

HPI they are THE best!!!!

With your hair growing back do you have trouble styling it?

I am sure I will have trouble. Right now I still have my wig glued on soooo no trouble styling the real hair yet.

Do you have loss of appetite while doing chemo?

I wish! Breast cancer chemo is one of the only ones you actually gain weight on. Lucky me!!! No loss of appetite that’s for sure.

Do you take vitamins? If so which ones?

I have to be careful about what I’m taking during chemo. I take B complex, probiotic, and vitamin D.

Are you going to have a big party to celebrate your last chemo?

I’m thinking about it! No set plans yet.

What brand are your eyelashes?

Ardell Demi Wispies Lashes

Ok I got most of the questions answered. This was fun! Send me more and I’ll keep a list and answer them on my next post.

As always, thank you guys for following this crazy journey I’m on. Love you all!

Until next time…

Hi there!

I’ve received a lot of questions about all different kinds of topics lately. I wanted to share a post and answer some of the ones I have received multiple times. Sooo here ya go…

Is there something you drink prior to chemo that helps you with recovery?

Yes!!! Water, water, and more water. Seriously. My friend gave me excellent advice before I began chemo. She said starting 3 days before infusion, drink at least 60 oz of water and 40 oz of Gatorade a day. I strive for this every day. Now that I’m on the easier chemo I don’t drink the Gatorade, but I drink double the water now. I think it’s really helped me do well. The water I choose is always one with electrolytes. My favorite is Essentia .

Why do you ice your hands?

Great question! I actually ice both my hands and my feet during my Taxol chemo. With certain types of chemo like Taxol there is an increased risk of neuropathy. There have been studies done that show icing can help prolong or eliminate the risk of neuropathy when icing. I will be on number 7 of 12 Taxol this week and so far no neuropathy! I definitely think it helps. I start icing 15 minutes before my infusion begins, and continue during the infusion, and 10 min after the infusion is over. The gloves I use are Elasto-gel Hypothermia Mitts . For the socks I use NatraCure Cold Therapy Socks. It’s good to get a least a couple pairs of both because you will need to change them a few times during treatment.

With the type of chemo that you are and have been on, does it reduce your ability to get pregnant? Just wondering if they recommended freezing eggs before chemo?

Ok, so this is a topic I was going to keep private. After much thought I’ve decided to share in hopes it helps someone out there going through this dreadful journey.

After surgery, but before Chemotherapy I did freeze my eggs. After speaking with my oncologist, and her being so supportive of the idea, I decided that if nothing else freezing my eggs would be my “insurance policy” just in case the chemo makes it hard or impossible to become pregnant naturally. I have to admit it was quite an exciting process. I was able to get 23 eggs frozen! So I will have many chances of having children. I did not want cancer to take that from me. I’m so thankful my oncologist was so supportive of my decision.

You’re skin is glowing! What do you use to make it look so great?

First of all thank you!!! I think a big part of it is drinking a ton of water. Also I’ve been pretty much overdosing on collagen. My favorite is Vital Proteins Collagen . Amy totally got me hooked on their Matcha Collagen as well. I’m also currently obsessed with Biossance SQUALANE Oil . It leaves my face feeling super smooth and refreshed.

Have you lost your eyebrows?

Have I ever?! Lawd. If there is one thing I love more than hair, it’s eyebrows. So this has been rough y’all. But thank God for makeup. Honestly no one can even tell after I fix my makeup in the morning, that they are barely there. I use Anastasia Brow Wiz in soft brown to line them and make little “hairs”. Then I take Sephora Brow Builder to fill in the rest.

On another note, my eyelashes are barely hanging on as well. I’m so cute y’all. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I have found the BEST fake lashes ever. I may never go back to natural again after wearing these. They are Ardell Wispies Lashes . They are super light. You can’t even tell you are wearing them. 🙌🏻

Those were just a few of the questions I have received. I’d continue on but Housewives of OC is about to come on. #priorities

Keep the questions coming! I love to help out in any way possible.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Until next time…